Desert Rose
by alena-chan
Summary: Jealousy... an emotion capable of destroying not only the life of others, but yours as well... [RaeRobTerra] Read AN [ON HOLD]
1. Othello

_**Hey! **_

_**Yes, "Desert Rose" is back up. **_

**_To be honest I didn't want to upload my old stories back up or write again… or at least not so soon, but I received many, many reviews telling me to not stop writing or at least uploading my stories back up and especially "Desert Rose"._**

**_I was amazed how many people mailed me and told me that I shouldn't leave FF, but most importantly I am overwhelmed how many people want to see my stories back… that's why I have decided to put back up "Desert Rose", but I have to say that it may take a while before the next chapter will be up, because I wanted to re-write "Desert Rose" (many people pointed out some plot holes and mistakes). And if anybody don't want me to write anymore or don't want to see my stories back up, just tell me and I will take it down. It was just that many people wanted to see this story back and it's a thank you to everyone who mailed me._**

_**To my other or new stories: I am not sure if or when my other stories will be back up. Maybe never or maybe a while later… it depends on how everything will work out with my mother and my life. I can't promise anything right now, but I'll try my best…**_

**_Lastly, I wanted to thank everyone who mailed me or left me a review and wishing my mother the best luck… you can't imagine how much that means to me and I just wanted to thank you guys for that… So, thank you very, very, very, very much!_**

_**Disclaimer: Not mine!**_

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_**Desert Rose**_

_**  
Chapter one:**_

_**Othello**_

"**_O, beware, my lord, of jealousy!  
It is the green-eyed monster which doth mock  
the meat it feeds on."_**

_**Othello, 3. 3**_

_**xxxxxxxxxxxx **_

It was the same as every day. We fight crime and afterwards we go out eating pizza or whatever else. It was our routine.

A routine you have to love. It is something constant.

Constancy– something I haven't had for a long time in my life. Until I met **_them._**

Today was no difference. We beat Mad Mod and of course we are heading to a near by pizzeria. I would be disappointed if not. But as much as our after-battle-pizza-eating is a routine, it is a routine as well that one member always refuses to come along.

_**Raven.**_

Not that I blame her and to be honest I'm actually glad that she never comes. As I said it is a routine and more than anything else I need routines.

So, I don't think that today will be different, will it?

I shook my head and follow my team-mates to the T-Car. But I stop as I see our leader, **_my_** leader, Robin, approaching the dark witch. I know, I shouldn't call her that and I don't mean it bad. It's just that I so strange when she is around me – almost bewitched, jinxed.

Probably because she is the only one who can see me.

Really **_see _**me.

As I watch Robin and Raven I feel something I shouldn't. It's strange but somehow my stomach doesn't want to give me rest. This feeling – it's overwhelming, absorbing. It is creeping from the pit of my stomach to the tips of my fingers and toes.

"Hop on Raven." I hear Robin saying to Raven while gesturing at his R-Cycle. I look at Raven and to my satisfaction I see her glaring at Robin. She will surely say something sarcastic and then go back to the Tower.

But then again, why do I bother?

Why is it so important that Raven don't come with us?

Before Raven opens her mouth, Robin speaks. "Or are you scared?" He has a cocky grin on his face.

A grin which melts every girl's heart.

I see how Raven's eyes widen and then narrowing to slits.

"Why would I be scared?" she spat.

"So, you are coming." Robin states and hands her a helmet.

"I-" Raven begins but then her eyes flickers towards my other team-mates. My eyes also glance to the others and I can see them smiling encouragingly.

Why does this bother me at all?

Then, I feel her eyes resting on me and I try to smile, just like the others, but somehow I suspect that it comes out more than a grimace than a smile.

Raven's gaze drifts again to Robin, who is now flashing her one of his heart-melting smiles.

I hope, I pray that she will decline as always. I see her rolling her eyes and letting out a sigh before grabbing the helmet from Robin's hands.

"But I'm sitting at the front," she says in her usual monotone voice and positions herself on the cycle while my other team-mates are cheering loudly. "I know how you drive and I don't want to end as dead body."

Robin chuckles and hops on his bike behind Raven, putting his arms around her waist he starts the cycle and drives off at top speed.

A faint cuss can be heard and the two birds are off.

It shouldn't bother me, I tell myself for the hundredth time today. But the problem is: It bothers, it eats me from inside. I don't want them see together.  
I-

"Terra?" I spin around at the mentioning of my name only to meet two pair of emerald eyes.

"Are you alright?" Beast Boy asks.

"Why shouldn't I be alright?" I ask back harsher than I originally intended. He shrugs his shoulders gesturing at my clenched fists. "Maybe because you're digging your nails on your palm?" I stare at my hands, quickly unclenching them. I haven't realized that I was doing that. Strangely, I haven't felt any pain.

At least no physical pain.

I look back at the spot where moments ago Robin and Raven had stood.

"Are you coming or what?" Cyborg yells from the T-Car. Tearing my eyes away from the spot, I wander to the car and take a seat on the front. Usually **_her _**place.

"It is wonderful that friend Raven has decided to part take in our feast." Starfire beams from the backseat as Cyborg starts the engine of the car. I roll my eyes at the Tamaranean princess. Is there anything Starfire does not think is wonderful?

"Wonderful?" Beast Boy chirps. "For a moment, I thought that she would blast Robin straight to Africa."

"You and me, brother. You and me," Cyborg says with a small chuckle. "But it's sure nice that dark girl is coming along."

"She seemed a bit … distracted and tried lately." Starfire muses in an unusual serious manner. "I mean, since we… she has defeated her father." She adds as an after thought.

"I don't know why you are so persisting about Raven coming alone. She doesn't want to come then she shouldn't." I mutter out loud my thoughts but I immediately regret it as I see the glance Cyborg shots me and Starfire's eyes glowed a vibrant green for a brief moment.

"I mean, we shouldn't pressure her. It could be too much, it is better if we leave her alone." I quickly add, hoping that that they will not suspect anything.

Fortunately for me, I can be really convincing if I want to be.

So, Cyborg turns his attention back to the road while Starfire begins to chat with Beast Boy. But before turning his attention to Starfire, I see Beast Boy looking at me suspiciously.

Can it be that he suspects something?

Beast Boy and I used to be close friends – even more than friends. But that was a long time ago. Now, we are only friends.

Ironically, it was not me who had broken up. It was him, who had stated that we weren't made for each other. I had suspected something like that but somehow it was easier to stay with him than facing the truth.

Because the problem is that I don't know what the truth is.

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**_Yeah, that was it… not much changed in the first chapter. You will see the changes in the second chapter._**

_**So, review? Or not… just do whatever you want to do…**_

_**Bye, **_

_**Alena**_

_**PS: Everybody who mailed me and have not received a reply yet, not give up on me… as you know, it's a little bit hectic right now, but I will definitely mail you back. Just wait a bit and everybody will get her or his reply… I promise… just wanted to tell you that, because I appreciate every mail…**_


	2. The Catcher in the Rye

_**A/N: Yeah, I am back with the second chapter of "Desert Rose"… Not much to say…**_

_**Thanks to everyone who had reviewed for the first chapter… I was amazed at how many people still want to read this story… so, thank you, thank you, thank you very, very, very, very much…**_

_**Kudos to Cherry Jade for beta-ing this chapter…**_

_**Disclaimer: Don't own them…**_

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**_Chapter two:_**

_**The Catcher in the Rye**_

"_**Don't ever tell anybody anything. If you do, you start missing everybody."  
"**The Catcher in the Rye" by J.D. Salinger_

_**xxxxxxxxxxxxx **  
_

_"STOP IT!" Raven screamed out loud. "GO AWAY! YOU'RE DEAD! I DEFEATED YOU!"_

_The figure began to laugh._

_"THIS IS ALL YOUR FAULT!"_

_It laughed harder._

_Raven screamed, the tears streaming down her face. "I SHOULDN'T BE LIKE YOU! IT SHOULDN'T HAVE BEEN YOU!" _

_"Why?" Raven choked. She fell to her knees and as sobs wracked her body. "They hate me. They will hate me, you know. All of them. Robin. He will hate me," she whispered softly. Looking up at the figure Raven's eyes began to glow red._

_"I FORGAVE you, I CRIED for you. I- I PITIED you!" She said through gritted teeth, venom dripping from every word. "I- I-"_

_The figure wouldn't stop laughing._

_"I- I- I HATE YOU! I COULD BE LIVING HAPPILY IF IT WASN'T FOR YOU! I WISH I WAS NEVER BORN! I WISH THIS HAD NEVER HAPPENED! I HATE YOU!"_

_With that figure was no longer an image but solid and his laughter rang loud and clear throughout the room. He bent down to Raven's level and grinned,_

_"So, we meet again… Raven, do you really think you could defeat me… Did you really think that I could live happily ever after?"_

**_xxxxxxxxxxxx _**

_**Robin's P.O.V**_

I wake up with a start. Panting hard, I lean back against the headboard.

It's always the same.

I hear **_her_** scream. In my dreams – I hear her scream.

It's always the same. Every night I hear her screams… and it got only worse when we… she had defeated Trigon.

She still has the nightmares… every night and every night I try to reach out for her.

Impossible.

No matter what I do, the screams are still continuing. Tonight is no difference.

As I always I hear her scream. And I don't know how to help her… I don't know why she still dreams about HIM. I don't know why it still haunts her…

She knows that I hear her and she knows that I know that it's her screams. But we're acting as if nothing is wrong.

I try to silence her screams in my head, try to forget that it is her screams and she tries to forget that I'm the one who are able to witness her screams, her fear.

It's all an act – a simple yet effective act. And I fear, just like an act, it will end with a tragedy.

It was wrong, I know. So wrong. We should do something. I should do something. I'm her leader, her friend, her …

I shake my head, desperately trying to get rid of her hurt and painful screams from my mind.

With a deep sigh, I leave my bed and silently walk to the common room.

Another sleepless night.

The first thing, eh, person I see is … Raven. She is sitting on the kitchen table, a mug of streaming tea in front of her.

"Raven," I say taking a seat across of her.

"Robin," She says back, her gaze never leaving her tea.

I watch her, try to read her.

Maybe it was time to drop the act? Maybe it was time to change the act from a tragedy into a comedy? Maybe I should talk with her?

"Raven, I … What are you doing up so late?" I'm kicking myself mentally.

So stupid. I'm so stupid.

She looks up at me and I see the dark rings under her eyes. Like bruises they shine and somehow they **_are_** bruises.

Her eyes pierce me.

"Couldn't sleep," she mutters and her gaze lingers on my face, pleading with me to say nothing wrong.

"Yeah, me neither." I laugh and after a thought I add. "How about a good night story to help us both sleep?"

Raven's right eyebrow rises in a skeptical way and with a voice dripping with sarcasm, she says. "A good night story? Aren't we a little old for such things?"

I shook my head. "You are never too old for a story. Besides, we're just seventeen. We have our whole life in front of us. We are in the midst of life. We-"

"Please, quit it." She rolls her eyes. "Just tell the story and get through with it."

I smirk and take a deep breath. "Once upon a time, there was big castle and in this castle there lived a princess. This princess was unearthly beautiful." I smile and look into her eyes. "With her enchanting violet eyes and her purple hair, she was truly a beauty." Now I see her eyes widen for a split second. For everybody it would seem as if nothing had changed but then again I'm not just anybody. I was trained by the world best detective. I was raised to pick up on subtlety.

"But the princess had to endure and fight many things before she could be happy. One of these things was her prophesy… a prophesy that said that she was destined to destroy the whole world, but our dear princess was able to overcome her prophesy. From there on she could live happily ever after… but something happened – something which made the princess unhappy. She wasn't as she used to be. She became sad and sadder. The princess thought there was nothing she could do to make her smile again." I pause and try to read her face but her face is as emotionless as ever. "But the princess had wonderful friends who tried everything to help her and make her forgot the pain and fear. One of her friends was a really charming prince. He was handsome, charming and on top of all he-"

"He was a bird brain?" Raven interrupts my story with her sarcastic remark.

I shake my head. "No, actually, he was very intelligent. There was no one who could match his intelligence." I continued and for the second time, I see her rolling her eyes but this time I also see how the end of her lips twitched upwards while she tries to keep them in place.

"So, this charming prince and her other friends offered the princess her help but every time her friends tried to reach her, she would pull away. The princess just couldn't understand that asking for help was not a weakness. She-"

"I don't think that the princess didn't let her friends help because she thought it was a weakness. Maybe she tried to protect her friends from the threat which had made her sad," she says and her voice seems softer than before.

"Maybe. But it would be better if she had let her friends help her. They could have found a way to solve her problem and then-"

And once again she interrupts me. "And then what? They would have lived happily after? Robin, unfortunately life isn't a fairytale. There are problems which you can't solve; there are things which can't be made undone. There isn't always a happy ending." The mug in front of her shatters in thousand of pieces and she closes her eyes. My eyes wander to her lips and I see forming her chant.

_Azarath Metrion Zinthos, Azarath Metrion Zinthos_

She is trying to not lose control again and for a moment I'm actually happy that she lost control. At least I made her feel something.

She opens her eyes and with a sigh she stays up from the table. "I should go. I need rest. I have to go to the mall with Starfire and Terra tomorrow." And without turning around she walks out of the room, her cloak sweeping behind her.

I realize that it's always like that. There are so many memories – memories of Raven leaving, walking out of rooms, and never looking back.

For once, I wish I could see her opening a door instead of closing them behind her. I wish she would stay instead of leaving. I wish she would see how much everybody cares – how much I care.

I wish … I wish … that she …

I think that's my problem: I'm not sure what I wish for her – from her.

♥**-♥-♥♥-♥-♥♥-♥-♥** **♥-♥-♥**

_**Terra´s P.O.V**_

"Tell me, why I'm a here again?" Raven asks slightly annoyed as we walk to small boutique at the mall.

That's what I ask myself as well.

Why is she here? It should be only Starfire and I.

When Starfire had asked if anybody wanted to go with her to the mall, I agreed gladly. The mall was a place where Raven would never ever go. At least, I thought so. But Starfire had insisted on Raven joining them and she had pleaded and coaxed Raven until she had finally agreed.

Raven and going to the mall seems… wrong.

So, here we are: Three heroines at the mall. Nothing is going right for me. I can't understand why Starfire had to insist that Raven should come and I can't understand why I'm so enraged that she actually joined us.

"Ah, Terra! Isn't this piece of clothing wonderful?" Starfire's cheery voice reaches my ear and I look at the yellow tank-top she is holding. It was a simple top and I don't know why it should be 'wonderful'. "Why don't you try it on?" she says and before I can answer she pushes me to one of the changing rooms.

Ok, sometimes this girl was just too bubbly.

"Friend Raven, can I talk to you?" Starfire's voice comes from behind the changing room door.

I know, it is wrong to listen to them but then again, it's not my fault if they talk in front of the changing room.

But it isn't really necessary to open the door a little bit to peek at them, is it?

"Sure," Raven says in her usual monotone voice, facing the red haired girl.

"I would like to request your help."

"Help?"

"Yes, there is this boy and I-" Before Starfire can finish her sentence, Raven interrupts her.

"Is it Robin?" She asks and can it be that her voice is trembling?

"No," Starfire shakes her head. "Beast boy." She mumbles and Raven's eyes widen and so do mine.

Beast Boy and Starfire? That's just too weird.

But shouldn't this make me sad or jealous? It should but strangely … I feel nothing.

"Beast Boy?" Raven repeats and I'm glad that she can't hide her surprise. She isn't perfect at all.

"Yes, it is friend Beast Boy. And I would like to talk with him and ask him if he … he …"

"… feels the same?" Raven volunteers.

"Yes!" Starfire beams and I can see her emerald eyes resting hopefully on Raven.

I smirk. It's more than clear that she'll say no. Raven will never play matchmaker. She will disappoint Starfire and maybe then …

"Why me?" Raven asks without answering Starfire's request. "Why don't you ask Terra? Wouldn't it better if you ask her?"

Yes, wouldn't it better to ask me?

Starfire smiles sweetly. "No," she simply answers. "I want **_you_** to help me."

"Why?" Raven repeats her question.

Starfire's smile grew only wider. "Because, you're my best friend." And then her arms encircle the smaller girl in front of her.

I expect Raven to push her away but to my surprise, Raven returns the hug and if it is possible her eyes soften and a ghost of a smile can be seen on her face.

"So are you." Raven whispers and I close the door before I can see anything else.

I fall against the wall and slide down until I crouch with my knees to my chest.

'_Because, you are my best friend.' _This small sentence is repeating in my head over and over again.

Why did it hurt to hear that? Why does it hurt so much?

Am I jealous?

What have I expect? That Starfire would consider me as her best friend? That I mean more to her than Raven?

Yeah, that's what I have thought. But it's only natural.

Why does Starfire prefer her over Raven?

Why am **_I _**not her best friend?

And then it hit me: I am jealous.

I'm jealous because Raven is Starfire's best friend.

I'm jealous because Raven is closer to Beast Boy then I ever was.

I'm jealous because Raven is Cyborg's little sister.

And I'm jealous because Raven is Robin's soul mate.

I'm jealous that Raven has everything I haven't.

I'm jealous.

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_**A/N: So…? What do you think? I changed some parts of this chapter… cookies to everyone who can tell me what I changed…**_

_**Anyway, leave me a review... if you want… and be safe…**_

_**Alena**_


	3. A Midsummer Night’s Dream

_**A/N: **Yeah, I'm back with another chapter and it just took me two weeks… not that long… ok, it is long considering that most of the chapters are already written out… yeah, I'm just so busy right now…_

_Since many of you tried to guess what I've changed in the last chapter, I decided to tell you: The part I changed most was the dream-part and the talk between Raven and Robin… I tried to change it so that the story can take place after the episodes "The End I/II/II". That was basically… so everybody who guessed right, you won… uh… a trip to Hawaii (throws confetti)… sorry, I had to this…_

_A big, fat thank you to **Cherry Jade**__ for beta-ing this chapter… _

_And of course thank you to everybody who had reviewed so far or put this story to their favorites or story alert list – thank you, thank you, thank you very much…_

_This chapter is dedicated to everyone who had reviewed, but especially to **Mol**, **Lain the Fluff-Master, Cherry Jade, Tecna **and _**_sekai no yakusoku_**

_**Disclaimer: Not mine!**_

_Last, but not least, enjoy the (short) Chapter!_

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_**Chapter 3:**_

_**A Midsummer Night's Dream**_

"**_But earthlier happy is the rose distilled  
than that which withering on the virgin thorn  
Grows, lives, and dies in single blessedness."  
A Midsummer Night's Dream, 1. 1_**

**_xxxxxxxxxxxxxx _**

_**Raven's P.O.V**_

"You are the color of crimson," I hear a gentle voice say.

I turned around - my cloak fluttering in the wind - only to be greeted by the figure of my fearless leader.

My purple eyes are flare and I feel my temper beginning to build.

Why can't he leave me alone? Why can't he understand that I need to be alone?

Why does he have to care so much?

But then, my face that had seen seventeen years began to warm. He cares.

"The color of crimson?" I ask without really thinking about what I'm doing. "And what is that one supposed to mean?"

"You are the color of crimson. You live for the taste of blood." He answers, his gaze never leaving the sky.

His eyes are sparkly as he looks out to the horizon. It is as though the entire world is a foot away. The sunset can be grasped, so few people feel the world as though they are alive.

Robin does.

"I do not live for the taste of blood!" I retort after a while, looking away from him, away from the bleeding sky and setting sun. Away from the colors of pink and blue and gold.

But then again, isn't he right? Am I not a child of a demon?

Fire, set by the gold and pinks of the spring sunset, flickers about his face.

Suddenly and without any premonition, I realize that he is beautiful. It's probably the most stupid observation. But he is beautiful, not only handsome, but beautiful… beautiful like the sunset.

"Not literally, of course. You live for the feeling of victory, for the enemy's defeat. The crimson. Just like me."

"You're too morbid," I comment, turning to him again. But deep down, I know that he is right. He is always right.

Eyes meet. Worlds collide.

"You are the color of gold, aren't you?" I ask suddenly, staring. Why did I say this? I'm really stupid.

Really, really stupid.

But he is. He's as pure as gold. He's the golden sparks of the sunset.

He **_is _**the color of gold.

Nodding, he turns away. "The sunset shows how all colors can work together."

"But the color of crimson is not in the sunset." I look down at the ground on the roof.  
Yes, just like the color crimson, I'm alone. I will never be able to join gold.

He takes my hand and places it over my own heart. "The color of crimson is here. Unlike the sunset, which will always fade away, the color of crimson will not die." he smiles and let go of my hand. "And you are most definitely the color of crimson."

I look at him. He stays next to me. Out of his pocket, he pulls a rose.  
"The color of crimson." Holding it out to me, he smiles.

For a second, I just stare at the flower in his hand. It's the first time someone gives me a flower. At least, the first time someone male gives me a flower. I once received an orchid from Starfire. But it's the first time I get a rose.

Then, accepting the flower and looking to the sunset one more time, I smile.

When I turn back to him, he was gone.

Was it a dream?

Or reality?

Can it really be that I am the color of crimson?

The color of gold was slowly fading from the sky.

The rose is very real, and the thorns alert me. I am clutching onto the rose as though it is all my life support.

No. It was real. **_I_** am real.

The rose began to fall to the ground. I let it go.

The color of crimson.

The color of crimson.

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_**Robin's P.O.V**_

'_You are the color of gold, aren't you?'_ What did she mean by that? Why did she say this to me? Why did **_I _**say all that to her? It just seemed right.

Why do I care so much? Why does my heart scream for her? I don't know. I just don't know.  
I-

"Terra?" I call out the blonde's name. Sitting alone at the couch in the common room, she stares blankly out of the window.

She doesn't react. Didn't she hear me?

I stay at the door, watching her. Her expression is emotionless – blank. I try to read her, to understand her.

But I can't. I can't see through her.

And that's when I realize: I don't know her. I never really bothered to get to know her. I never asked her how she feels. When Beast Boy and Terra broke up, I never bothered to ask her how she felt. I was occupied with Beast Boy. I'm the leader; I should have care about her.  
Maybe that's why she has been so distant lately?

"Terra?" I once again say and place my hand on her shoulder.

Startled, she jumps and looks at me with wide blue eyes. "Robin. You surprised me." She says and her indifferent blue eyes stare at me.

"Sorry," I apologize and take a seat next to her on the couch. "I just wanted to know if you are alright."

"Why shouldn't I be?" she asks her eyes still on me.

"I …" I look at her sheepishly. "I … How do you feel? I mean, since you and Beast Boy ..."

She laughs … strangely – almost bitterly.

"I'm fine." Her lips curl into a smile. "It's alright. It was expected. Look at Beast Boy and Raven. It was obvious."

Beast Boy and Raven? What does she mean? I narrow my eyes. "What do you mean?" I ask hoarsely. My voice sounding strangely dissonant.

"Nothing. But can't you see how close they are?"

"Close?" I repeat. "Did Beast Boy say anything?" Why is it so important to know this?

She shakes her head. "Nah, he doesn't need to. I can see it myself." Her eyes bore into me.

"Haven't you ever noticed **_how _**close they are?"

I don't like the way she emphasis the word 'how'.

Raven and Beast Boy? Beast Boy and Raven? It just doesn't seem right. It is ridiculous. Terra must be wrong.

"Terra, I think you are misinterpreting something. Raven and Beast Boy? That's just … freaky." I try to convince her... or is it me I'm trying to convince?

"If **_you_** say so." Terra smirks and gets up from the couch. "I'm going to my room." And with that she leaves the common room. But that is not what is bothering me.

Raven and Beast Boy.

Close. Can it really be?

Beast Boy and Raven.

Raven and Beast Boy.

There was just one word which I can describe what I feel.

Jealously.

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_**A/N: **That was the third chapter… yeah, I know it was short, but the next chapter is longer… or at least I think so…_

_Ok, so review on your way out… please… you know, it seems that people don't like this story anymore, so if you want me to take it down or have any ideas to improve the story, just tell me… ok…?_

_**So, until next chapter…**_

_**Alena**_


	4. Much Ado About Nothing

_**A/N: **The next chapter is ready… truth to be told, I didn't change anything on this chapter that's why I post it without being edited… ok, that's not really true, because it is beta-ed… **Cherry Jade **beta-ed it the first time I post this chapter… so a big, fat thank you to **Cherry Jade **for being such a wonderful beta and friend._

_I also wanted thank everybody who reviewed last time and told me to not delete this story… so ok, I won't delete it (especially since someone - coughcoughLaincoughcuogh - threatened me so nicely )… so thank you, thank you, thank you to all of you… _

_This chapter is dedicated to **Cherry Jade**, **Mol**,_**_ Raven-Angel-of-Darkness_**_, **Tecna **and _**_Lain the Fluff-Master_**

_**Disclaimer: Not mine!**_

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_**Chapter 4:**_

_**Much Ado About Nothing**_

"**_Friendship is constant in all other things  
Save in the office and affairs of love:  
Therefore all hearts in love use their own tongues;  
Let every eye negotiate for itself  
And trust no agent."  
_****_Much Ado About Nothing, 2. 1_**

**_xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx_**

_**Raven's p.o.v**_

"Tofu!"

"Meat!"

"Tofu!"

"Meat!"

Oh, great joy! Another "wonderful" day, another "wonderful" morning and another pointless argument about breakfast. Once, I want to wake up and don't have to listen to their stupid quarrelling.

"Friend Raven. How joyous to see you awake from you slumber." Starfire greeted me. Floating towards me, she crushed me into a bone-breaking hug.

"Star … fire … I … need … to … breathe …" I manage to choke out and Starfire lets go of me.  
"I am mostly sorry, friend." She offers an apolitical smile.

"It's ok." I assure her. Nobody can resist her smile.

"Wonderful. Raven, please join us in the feast of a delicious breakfast." She beams and bounces up and down.

"Sure," I look at her strangely but then I dismiss it as her usual happy-go-lucky self. "Just let me prepare my tea …"

"No need for that friend. Robin has already prepared some tea of herbal for you. Haven't you Robin?" Starfire addresses him while dragging me to the breakfast table and on the chair between Robin and herself.

"Uh … yeah." Robin stutters and I see a pink tint gracing his cheeks. I look down at the tea in front of me and then back to Robin. "Thanks," I mutter.

For a moment he looks at me startled, before flashing me his trademark lopsided smile. "You're welcome."

From my left side I feel an elbow poking into my ribs. I turn around only to see Starfire smiling at me wildly and winking. I quickly look down at my tea, hoping that nobody sees my colored cheeks.

While the rest of the team begin to chit chat about what they had planned for today, I feel someone's eyes staring at me. I look up from my breakfast and look around. Robin and Cyborg are engrossed in a conversation about some game. My eyes wander to Beast Boy and Starfire. Both are busily occupied with stuffing various foods into their mouths.

Lastly, my eyes rest on the blonde sitting across from me. Our eyes meet and a strange overwhelming feeling is taking over me.

The more Terra's light blue eyes are staring at mine, the more this feeling is taking over me. It feels like thousands of small needles stinging into my skin. It's getting worse and worse and I feel darkness falling over my senses but before blackness can envelope me. Terra drops her piercing stare.

The intense feeling vanishes as fast as it had come over me.

It was just so intense, so painful.  
What was it? Hurt? Betrayal? Anger? … Hate?

Can it be that Terra hates me …?

"Dudes and Dudettes. Who is in for a round on the game station?" Beast Boy's boyish voice halls through the room and straight through my ears.

"Definitely not you," Cyborg says and smiles wickedly. "It's you turn to wash the dishes."

"But … but … this can't be." He immediately begins to whine.

When will this boy mature?

"Why me and why today? Can't-"

"No," Robin shouts and shoots him his best 'I'm the leader and you have to do what I say' – glare.

Beast Boy growls defeated and proceeds to stay from the table.

I try to hide my smirk but unfortunately I'm not really successful.

But then, I remember the conversation I had with Starfire yesterday at the mall. This could be the perfect opportunity to help her.

So, I do something, I'm sure I'll regret later.

"I'll help you," I said and stand up from the breakfast table telekinetically carrying the dishes to the sink.  
And although my back is turned to my friends, I can feel five pairs of eyes burning into my back.

I turn around. "What?" I ask with a tone which indicates clearly that they should drop any comment.

I think everybody gets the message – everybody but the Boy Wonder.

"Raven, you don't have to do this. Its BB´s turn and he should-" Robin began but Beast Boy cuts him short.

"Dude, if she wants to help me let her."

"Besides," I say monotonously. "The faster we get through with it the faster Beast Boy will stop his whining and we'll have our peace." My eyes wander to Starfire to stare intensively at her, hoping that she will get the message.

From her smiling and beaming face, I see that she indeed got my message.

"Friend Raven is right." She says still smiling widely. "And we should leave our two friends alone."

"But … Raven … I'll help Beast Boy and you can go … meditate." Robin hastily says. I look at him, my eyebrows raised. "I mean, I know … how much you … need to meditate. So, you can go."

He's nervous, I can feel it. It's radiating from him and I want to know why.

Why is he so nervous?

"You can't help them" Starfire nearly screams hysterically.

"Why?" Terra asks and the smile on her lips looks almost cruel.

"I … I need him to assist me in something." Starfire answers.

"In what?" Terra inquires.

"He needs to explain something to me."

"What?"

"Uh … mhm …" I can see how difficult it is for Starfire to lie to her friends. She just can't lie. She is too innocent and I feel my anger raising.

Why does Terra have to be so noisy?

"He needs to explain to me the concept of … sex!" Starfire exclaims happily.

Sex? Oh my God, this girl is incredible. How did she manage to come up with something like that?

"S …Sex?" Robin stutters and his face is flushing deep red while his left eye begins to twitch uncontrollably. The look on his face is priceless.

"Yes!" Starfire confirms, her smile never wavering.

"Uh, I don't think-"

"Nonsense." She grabs a reluctant Robin and drags Cyborg and Terra out with them.

"You two can help Robin explaining to me sex. I believe he will be in need of assistance." She cheers … and off they are.

I have to say that although I'm not really happy that I have to spend time talking with Beast Boy, it's probably better than explaining Starfire what sex means. Apart from the fact that she already** knows** what sex is. We had once a talk about that stuff.

"So, why do you want to help me?" Beast Boy asks and begins to wash the dishes.

For a moment, I'm startled. I don't expect him to ask something like that.

"As I said, I just don't want to hear you whining all day." I answer smoothly.

After a while, you get to use to lies or better I get used to not telling everything to my friends.

He chuckles and glances at me indifferently. "Contrary on popular belief, I'm not a complete airhead. I'm sometimes insensitive and not the brightest, but I'm not dense."

Wow, is all my mind can think. I would have never thought, Beast Boy could say something … so intelligent. I'm speechless, and taken aback.

"So?" He inquires.

"I … I …" That's it! Since when do I stutter? Never. I'll never stutter and I'll never waver.  
"I just wanted to talk." I tell him vaguely.

He puts down the plate he was holding and stares at me in shock. "You? Talking? With me?"

I roll my eyes. Is it really so beyond any belief that I want to talk with Beast Boy?

…

Ok, maybe it is. But that's not what I'll tell him.

"So what?" Can't I talk with one of my friends?" I say instead. That should make him guilty.

"Uh, sure …" He sceptically speaks.

"Are you alright. Since the break-up with Terra, I mean."

Ok that is probably the most stupid way to ask him.

"I'm fine!" he answers and then begins to grin smugly. I don't like this grin. "Why do you ask? Are you interested in me?" He wiggles his eyebrows.

That's just too much for my temper and patience and Beast Boy finds himself splashed with water from the sink.

"That's so not funny Raven." He whines, wiping away the water and returning to the dishes.

Silence. Complete silence.

It is such an irony that the time when he is actually quiet, I want him to speak.

I think, it is time to speak openly with him.

"Rae, can you keep a secret?" Beast Boy blurts out before I'm able to speak openly with him.

Once again speechless and taken aback, I just nod.  
A secret? I just hope it isn't something like 'I broke something on Cy´s car or I lost one of Robin's bo-staffs.'

"IlikeStarfire!" He chokes out nervously in one breath.

"Can you repeat that? I couldn't catch it?" I say although I perfectly understood what he said. But somehow it is amusing to see him squirm like that. I almost feel sorry for him. Almost.

"I like Starfire." He repeats quietly. "You won't tell anyone, will you?"

I shake my head. "No. But you should!"

"I kinda hoped you could talk with her." He mutters. "Please!"

Ok, since when do I have become the official matchmaker of the T-Tower? Why does everybody ask **_me_** to deal with their love-affairs?

"Why?" I ask the same question I posed Starfire at the mall. "Why me? Why not Cyborg or Robin?"

"Because I … I can trust you. I know you won't make fun of me. And because you are one of my closest friends." He sincerely tells me.

Its official now: I soften. Two years ago such words had left me unaltered but now I feel my cold demeanour melting. And I don't know if I like it.

"Ok, I'll do it." I give in. not that it will be difficult. I know already that Starfire likes Beast Boy. I just have to tell her that he likes her as well and everything will be fine and I'll be able to live in peace again.

Maybe I should consider working as a professional matchmaker. Oh yes, that would be fun.

"Really?" Beast Boy asks, his eyes lighting up and interrupts my daydreams about my new profession.

"Yes, really!" I confirm.

"Uh, Rae?" He pulls at my cloak. "Would you mind if … if … I … I …"

I sigh and throw my arms around him awkwardly. I'm not used to hugging people, but lately it seems as if it is the only thing I do. Beast Boy returns it – also awkwardly.

Mentally, I smile at us. This is just a hug siblings would share and the thought of having Beast Boy as my younger – annoying – younger brother doesn't disturb me as much as it should.

"Thanks Rae," he whispers in my ear.

"Ehm, ehm," A cough comes from the doorway of the room. Beast Boy and I break the hug and look at the door where Starfire, Robin and Terra are standing.

All three are looking strangely at us. But who wouldn't?

ME, the cold, emotionless girl hugging Beast Boy? That's just unbelievable. Even for me.

I pull my hood over my head and marsh to the door. "I'm going to meditate on the roof." I announce. "Starfire, do you want to join me?" I ask the red-head. For a moment, Starfire looks startled before realization hit her. "It would be a pleasure." Star beams, floating behind me to the roof.

As I leave, I notice two things: Robin's clenched fists and the almost … angry way he looks at me and Beast Boy. But which bothers me more is, Terra smiling at me wickedly.

Somehow I feel that these are presentiments of danger.

_**

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_**A/N 1: **Ok, that was the fourth chapter… I hope you liked it… leave me a review and tell me **how** much you liked it... (kidding)  
_

**_So… until next chapter_**

_**Alena**_


	5. Othello Part II

_**A/N: **Yes, it's another chapter and in such a short time, but I didn't change much in this chapter, that's why the fast update._

_Actually this chapter is one of my favourite chapters from this story, because jealousy will finally show his ugly head and bit RaeRob interaction at the end of the chapter. Everybody who had read the story before knows what I mean._

_Ok, I wanted to thank everybody who reviewed for the last chapter… you guys are the best and you totally rock – all of you!_

_A special thank you and kudos to **Cherry Jade **for editing this chapter… and all of my other stories… you're just awesome and wonderful!_

_And a special salute and much love **Lain the Fluff-Master: **Hopefully you will feel better soon!_

_Dedicated to **Tecna**, **Mol**, **Cherry Jade**, **Lain the Fluff-Master**, _**_sekai no yakusoku_**_ and _**_Raven-Angel-of-Darkness_**

_**Disclaimer: Not mine and never will be! **_

_**

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**_

_**Chapter five:**_

_**Othello Part II**_

"**_One more, and this the last:  
So sweet was ne'er so fatal."  
_****_Othello, 5. 2_**

_**xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx **_

_**Raven's P.O.V**_

"Azarath Metrion Zinthos."

"Raven?"

"Azarath Metrion Zinthos."

"Raven, please tell me what friend Beast Boy has said to you."

"Azarath Metrion Zinthos."

'_sigh'_ "Raven, I'll promise you to not drag you to the mall of shopping for two weeks."

"Azarath …"

"Three weeks?"

"Metrion … "

"One month."

I opened my eyes only to be greeted by a very nervous and anxious Tamerian Princess.

"No mall and no pudding or any other Tamerian dishes for one month." I said coolly.

I really could get used to matchmaking.

"But …" Starfire protests.

" … Zinthos. Azarath-"

"Ok, ok!" Starfire finally gives in. "We have an agreement."

"Deal," I correct her.

"Deal," She repeats, sighing.

Yup, matchmaking is definitely nice.

She looks at me, her eyes large with expectation. "He likes you," I state simply, nonchalantly.

"He … he likes me?" She stutters.

"Yes!"

"He likes me?"

"Yeah, that's what I said."

"He likes me!" She practically screams and before I know what happens, she encircles me in a hug. Bouncing up and down with me in her arms, she happily chants. "He likes me. He really likes me!"

"Super," I said in deadpan tone – although I'm happy for her. "Can you please let go of me now."

She smiles, releasing me from her iron grip.

"Friend Raven, that's so wonderful. I'm so gloriously happy and I wish to make you happy as well." She merrily speaks.

"You-"

"But since you don't want my Pudding of Happiness. I have to find something else." She muses without really caring for my protest. She tilts her head slightly as if thinking about something really important. "What would make you happy, Raven?"

"Nothing." I tell her. "There is nothing which would make me happy. I don't need anything."

But it's obvious that she doesn't believe me.

"There has to be something. Maybe, I could help you to come together with Ro-"

"No, I'm fine, believe me," I assure her harshly before she can finish her sentence. There was no way I can let her finish her sentence.

She looks at me defeated, but I feel that she still doesn't believe me.

How can she believe me when I don't believe myself?

But now is not the time to think about that. Later, when I meditate, then I can think about it.

But not now.

"Let us search for Beast Boy," I tell her and stand up from the lotus-position I was in. "I think the both of you need to talk."

Her wide emerald eyes still rest on me.

Worry – I can feel it. She is worried – worried about me.

Another thing, I need to ponder about. Later.

I slowly walk to the door and gesture her to follow me. Sighing deeply – something unlike her – Starfire follows me.

As I walk down the stairs with Starfire, there is just one thing in my mind. One name - the name I refused to let Starfire speaking out.

Robin.

**_

* * *

_**

**_Robin's P.O.V._**

I'm furious, so furious that I can't control it anymore. This anger – it was nothing new to me, but I would have never thought that my anger could be directed on one of my friends.

It's a weakness.

Anger – jealously … it's a weakness.

But I can't control myself.

The image of Beast Boy and Raven hugging - it's burnt in my mind.

It shouldn't hurt so much. It was just a hug. Nothing more.

Raven would never …

But then again, they were always – in a strange love-hate-way – relationship. And it is the first time, I saw her hug someone, besides Starfire.

Raven does not hug.

No, don't think about. It will only get worse.

I have to train. Sweat out all of my anger.

But apparently, I am not the only one who wants to train. I really hope it is Cyborg. I need someone to talk with and maybe he can help me.

But when I enter the training-room, I'm confronted with the person I don't want to see right now.

"Beast Boy?" I hear my voice calling out hoarsely. Beast Boy turns around, interrupting his training with the punching-bag.

"Yo, fearless leader," he greets me before returning to his work out.

Why is he so happy? Why can he feel so good while I feel like losing my mind?

I hate it.

"You're really happy today." I say sarcastically. Of course he is happy. He had the chance to be close to Raven.

"Oh, I am," he answers, turning again towards me.

I hate it.

"Your happiness hasn't anything to do with a certain dark member of this team, has it?" I ask without really thinking which words come out of my mind.

To my utter anger, Beast Boy laughed. "Maybe. Why, are you jealous?" He speaks and although I know that he's probably just teasing me, but I can't stop, cold anger taking over me.

"No," I spat. My voice tripping with venom.

Beast Boy grins. "Sure," He says sarcastically. "Of course you are not."

That was it. That was the last straw before anger and jealously indulged me completely.

Without any warning, I attack him.

I attack one of my best-friends.

I leaped into the air, my right leg spinning out into an arc, my body following the movement, and then my left leg is following the same motion into two spinning air kicks.

Beast Boy backs away – but just slightly- a confused expression on his face. "What was that for?"

"You're sloppy, you know. If you react that way in a fight, you'll surely lose." I say and swing my fists in a punch. He dodges them perfectly, but he is driven backwards, yet I have to admit that he really has got better.  
"I don't think it has anything to do with my sloppiness, as you said." Beast Boy speaks watching me suspiciously as I plan my next attack.

A little voice in my head tells me to stop this all, tells me that what I am doing is wrong. The person I am attacking is one of my friends.

"You _are_ jealous!" The boyish voice of Beast Boy pierce through my battle with my mind and the hot claws of anger get hold of me again.

With a yell. I send him crashing to the wall with a flying kick. Charging, I look at his lying form.

But before I can do anything, Beast Boy aims a kick to my kneecap and I fall to the floor.

"You-" I was cut short in my actions by a force holding me back. I look at Beast Boy who is in a similar position as I am.

"What. Are. You. Doing?" A husky, feminine voice asks.

Raven.

"Why don't you ask Bird Brain? He's the one attacking me without any reason." Beast Boy yells, struggling against Raven's powers.

Her eyes rest on me and I feel a strange feeling radiating from her.

"Beast Boy," She finally speaks in her usual calm and monotone voice. "Go to Starfire. I think she wants to tell you something." She pauses. "I'll come later to heal your bruises."

She lets go of Beast Boy. He struggles to his feet. With a last fiery glare, he leaves the training room, leaving me and Raven alone.

Once Beast Boy left the room, Raven looks at me. Her eyes hard.

"Let me go," I say harshly, beginning again to struggle against her power.

"Why should I? So that you can attack **_me_**?" She monotonously says but I can clearly hear the anger.

I stop struggling and watch her.

She sighs and releases her power on me. "Why did you do it?" Raven asks as I come to my feet.

"I …" I begin, but what I should tell her? That jealously took over me, that I couldn't restrain my emotions? That I was jerk?

I rub the sore point on my back - where probably a bruise is forming. I have to give Beast Boy credit for his quick reacting.

Raven comes forward to me and places her delicate hands on the spot on my back where it hurts the most.

"What-" before I can finish my question without any warning, a brilliant flash of light flare around me, engulfing me completely.

She's healing me and I feel bliss. The cold grip of jealousy and anger vanishing completely.

She pulls her hands away from my back but before she can pull them away completely, my hands encircle her wrists.

Her eyes are slightly confused and I realize how beautiful, yet how forbidden she is. A forbidden sin, I long to taste.

This is the moment; I blow all cautions in the wind: Suddenly, as if driven by a magical force, my lips come down crashing on hers.

Eyes wide, she looks like a deer caught in headlights. Around us the punching-bag explodes. Sending its debris flying through the room. Raven pulls away immediately.

"What … have you … done," She whispers, touching her lips with her fingers. Before I can say anything, she flees out of the room like hunted deer.

Leaving me with my swirling thoughts, and a burning desire in my heart.

_**

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_**A/N: **Yup, that was it… that was the chapter… so, how did you like it? Bad? Good? Medicore? Tell me in your review… I´m dying to know how you guys like it…_

_Until next chapter,_

_Alena_


	6. Macbeth

_**A/N: **So, that's the sixth chapter… not much to say… just enjoy the chapter…_

_Thanks to Cherry Jade for beta-ing… you are the best…_

_Dedicated to** Mol, Lain the Fluff-Master, Cherry Jade, **_**_Raven-Angel-of-Darkness_****_sekai no yakusoku_**_and** Tecna**_

_**Disclaimer: Not mine!**_

_**

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**_

_**Chapter six:**_

_**Macbeth**_

"**_Fair is foul, and foul is fair._** "  
**_Macbeth, 1. 1_**

**_xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx__  
_**

_**Robin's P.O.V**_

The feeling of Raven's lips upon mine – I can still feel the pale grey petals of her lips, her sweet, yet intoxicating taste.

Memories, of today…they won't leave me. They never will.

What a fool.

What a fool I was.

What a fool **_I am._**

I look at the corner in the training-room, where our moment was shared. Where I felt her for the first time, where I felt for the first time what it means to be alive. Where I felt the true sense of what love and lust really means.

Now that it feels so far away, it feels so endlessly distant, like it had happened centuries ago.  
There is just one thought in my mind: I should have never kissed her.

I have to talk with her – tell her why, but before I can talk to her, I have to do something else.

I slowly walk down the hallway and stop at one of the doors. To my surprise, the door isn't closed. Indeed, it is bit open, not enough to look inside the rooms, but enough to hear noises.

Strange noises. Something like a moan?

A moan? From his room?

Can it be? Can it-

Opening the door wide open, my jaw dropped. "Beast Boy? Starfire?"

There in front of me are Beast Boy and Starfire.

Together.

On his bed.

Kissing.

Maybe I'm dreaming. Yes, that's it. I'm dreaming.

"Friend Robin," Starfire shrieked and Beast Boy gasped.

Okay, maybe it isn't a dream.

"I'm so sorry. I didn't mean to … I …" I stuttered uncomfortably. "I just wanted to talk with Beast Boy." He looked at me sceptically and still angry. "I wanted to apologize." I mumble.

I hate to admit my faults. It just isn't good for my ego, as Raven would say.

Raven …

"I think I shall leave you both alone," Starfire smiles and before I can say anything, she floats away, leaving me and Beast Boy alone.

"Uh," I say and step inside his room and to my utter surprise, it's … clean. Ok, as clean as Beast Boy can manage, but at least there aren't any mildew vegetating on the floor. "So, you and Starfire are an item now?" I ask as I stay in front of his bed.

"Yes!" He answers with the biggest grin, I have ever seen. "And that my man is thanks to Raven!"

"Raven?" I ask.

"Yup."

"Raven." Now it drowns to me. That's why they were hugging, that's why she wanted to be alone with him.

What a fool I am.

Swallowing hard, I say. "I'm sorry, Gar!" I see Beast Boy's eyes widen in shock. I never use their real names, unless it is important and this is important. I hurt one of my friends, because of my jealously – groundless jealously, as it seems. "I freaked out. I was just so …"

" … Jealous?" Beast Boy offers.

I narrow my eyes, ready to yell at him, when it hits me, that's my problem. I was jealous.  
So, instead I sigh deeply. "Yeah, I was jealous – jealous of you."

"Fantastic," Beast Boy smirks and I look at him confused.

"I don't see anything fantastic about it."

"It's fantastic that someone like you can be jealous of me." Beast Boy says proudly and I roll my eyes. This guy can be too immature sometimes.

"You probably know that you won't be able to hear the end of this, don't you?" he informs me as I sit down on his bed next to him.

"Somehow I suspected that," I grin.

"Good! Because that's the only reason I forgive you."

"Yeah, yeah," I deadpan in a bored tone, although I'm really glad that Beast Boy is one of the most forgiving people on earth. Next to Starfire, of course.

"So, you do like Raven?" He asks after a while of silence.

"I …" I began to protest, but I eventually give in as I see Beast Boy's stern expression. "Yes, I do."

"Then tell her."

"She won't listen to me," I shook my head. "Not after I kissed her." I whisper.

"You what?" He yells out taken aback.

"I kissed her." I answered.

"And she didn't kill you?" He asked totally shocked.

"No, but we need new punching-bags," I stated. "I really screwed this up. She probably won't talk to me anymore." I say sadly. And that's the truth: She won't talk to me anymore, not after I did something like kissing her.

"Make her some tea!" Beast Boy tells me. I look at him and see that he is dead-serious.

"Tea? What has tea got to do with anything?"

"Whenever she gets mad at me, I make Raven some of her herbal tea and apologize and then she forgives me," He explains. "At least, she forgives me most of the time. And since you kissed her and you are still alive, I think she kinda likes you."

"How nice she kinda likes me," I sarcastically say, but without caring about my sarcasm,

Beast Boy continues. "So, she'll talk to you when you apologize."

"I'm not sure if-"I begin, but was curt short by Beast Boy.

"Dude! You will go now and make her some tea and apologize and then tell her your feelings!"

"But-" Before I can finish my sentence, Beast Boy pushes me off his bed and out of his room.

"Go! Now!" He commands and I can't help myself but to stare at him dumbfounded.

Who would have thought that Beast Boy could be that stoic? Definitely not me!

Shaking my head in disbelief, I walk down the hallway to the kitchen.

_**

* * *

**_

_**Raven's P.O.V**_

"Azarath … How could … Metrion … he … Zinthos … kiss me …"

CRASH

I don't even flinch as another of my figures explodes in millions of tiny splinters.

"Calm down Raven! Take a deep breath! Find your center … Azarath … argh … How could he do such a thing?"

BOOM

A book shedders and I marsh to the door where somebody frantically knocks on the door.

"What … Starfire?" I say harshly.

"Friend Raven, is something not okay?" I heard as she trailed off she step behind me in my room.

"What-" she tried to ask.

"If anything is wrong? Everything is wrong. He kissed me. He just kissed me. How could he do that?" I talk more to myself than to her. Distinctly I hear something exploding, but it doesn't matter to me.

"Raven, you have to calm down," Starfire tries to sooth me. "Tell me who kissed you?" She asks as she makes her way to me, carefully avoiding the debris of my exploded and shuddered belongings.

"Robin," the name comes out as if it is poison in my mouth.

"Robin?" Starfire repeats unbelievingly. "That's …"

"… terrible …"

"No, it's fantastic. You and Robin – that's wonderful." She gleefully exclaims.

"Don't ever referrer to me as wonderful," I warn her. "And there is no Robin and I. He just kissed me. It didn't mean anything. It was just a simple kiss. Nothing more." I tell her with an edge in my voice.

"But you do feel something for him!" She insisted.

"NO!" I yell and my eyes are glowing white for second before turning to their usual lavender.

To my surprise, Starfire isn't intimated nor did she flinch.

"Then why are you so upset and angry?" Her eyebrows are raised questioningly. "Why does your room look like a battlefield?" She gestured around my room.

"I …" I trailed off and my eyes wander through my room. It indeed looks like a battlefield

I sighed. "You're right. I am upset and angry – and that it's a mistake. It's a mistake to let all this emotions out. Something bad can happen." I admit. "I have to calm down and forget everything."

Yes, I have to forget what happened. It doesn't help me by asking myself why Robin kissed me. It doesn't do me any good asking myself if he felt the same sensation as I when our lips had met. It doesn't help me thinking about the fact that this was my first kiss.

"No Raven that was not what I meant." Starfire protests. "You **_should _**feel. I want you to feel. I want you to be happy. You deserve to be happy. I want to help you to be happy – just like how you helped me to be happy with Beast Boy …" Her voice wavers with emotions and I look at her with sympathy. Good, old Starfire. Always anxious to help others and to make them happy, even if it is impossible.

I opt to change the subject. It would only make her sad when I tell her that it is impossible and dangerous for me to feel.

"You and Beast Boy finally told each other your feelings," I ask.

"Yes," She blushes. "Thanks to you!" She hugs me happily. "You can't imagine how happy I am," Suddenly she looks shyly at me. "I could … tell you … about it?"

I smile slightly. Starfire will never change. "Let's get some tea and then you can tell me everything." I tell her, but somehow I regret my decision when she begins to speak about Beast Boy's kissing abilities. That's much more than I need to know.

Together we make our way to the kitchen.

* * *

_**Robin's P.O.V**_

The water is in the kettle and the kettle is on the stove. All I have to do is waiting for the water to boil.

I hope Raven isn't mad at me. I hope she'll talk to me. I have to tell her everything before it's too late, but somehow in the pit of my stomach I have the feeling that is already too late.

"Robin, yo Robin!" Cyborg voice shakes me out of my thoughts. "Have you seen the training-room. It's," He stops as he looks at me and then at the kettle on the stove and then back at me. "Oh …" he says, correctly guessing what happened.

He smiles. "I think I'll clean the training-room." He announces.

"No Cy, I-"

"I'll do it," He insisted. "Just make sure that everything will be alright with Rae."  
I give him a grateful smile and nod.

"Because if you upset her anymore, I'll have to kick your sorry ass." He adds, winking, before leaving me alone.

Or, so I thought.

"So, what did you do to make Raven angry?" I hear a light, amused voice asking behind me. I turn around, only to be greeted by Terra´s smiling face.

"Terra?" I ask intelligently.

"The one and only."

"How long have you been here?"

"Long enough," she vaguely answers.

"I didn't notice you," I stated.

She smirks. "For your sake, I'll take that as a compliment."

I just roll my eyes. "Yeah, yeah, do whatever you want."

"You didn't answer my earlier question," She says with strange smile on her face. Somehow it seems as if she already knew what had happened.

"That none of your business," I barked, irritated. How does she manage to make me so nervous?

"Jeez Robin, it was only question. You don't need to freak out."

I say nothing and for a while neither of us says anything.

"You know, you were wrong with Beast Boy and Raven," I finally say, although I don't know why I say that.

She raises one of her perfect eyebrows. "Was I?"

"Yes, Star and Beast Boy are together," I inform her nonchalantly.

She laughs and I ask myself why.

"Shouldn't you at least be a bit upset?" I ask her suddenly.

"Why should I?" She asks back.

"You and Beast Boy were together for some time. I can't believe that you got over him so quickly."

And once again, she smiles this strange, yet alluring smile of hers. "Maybe I'm just hiding my pain?" She comes nearer. "Or maybe I'm just a heartless bitch?" And nearer. "Or maybe I've set my eyes on someone else." Until we are just mere inches apart.

Is she flirting with me?

"Have you?" I inwardly ask. Am I flirting with her?

"Yes," she whispers and I feel her soft breath on my face.

For the first time, I notice that she has a few freckles on her nose. They are really light and hardly noticeable – unless you are as close to her as I am right now.

Her scent tickles my nose. Vanilla – I realize. Sweet. Different from the intoxicating scent of lavender and bitter roses from Raven.

"Do I know him?" Why can't I stop this?

"Maybe," she says before I feel her lips on mine.

I should push her off but is it seems as if my body has it own mind. And although my mind and my heart yell and beg at me to stop, I feel my body responding to her advances.

But I realize that this is nothing what I felt with Raven. With Raven love **_and _**lust were controlling me, but with Terra, my mind is only clouded with lust. A carnal desire, I can't stop it from spreading through my whole body.

I come to my senses when her tongue flickers through my bottom lip, begging for entrance.

What am I doing? Kissing a woman just because I can't control my hormones?

Raven.

I love Raven.

My hands are about to push her way when I hear a small gasp from the kitchen door. Terra and I pulled apart and my eyes are wandered to the door. My whole world stops spinning as I see who are standing there.

"Raven …" I manage to choke out. There at the door was Raven together with Starfire. Starfire looks shocked and slightly angry at us while Raven's face was a mask void of any emotion.

"Let's go, Starfire. I think we disturbed … **_them_**." I hear her monotone voice addressing the alien-girl next to her.

'_Don't let her go!' _My mind screams at me.

"Wait!" I call out. My dark angel turns around. "I can explain everything."

"You don't need to explain anything," She spoke, her voice still emotionless. "Why should you? I'm not your girlfriend. You can kiss whoever you desire." Her eyes narrow while she continues to speak. "But from now on: **Stay. Away. From. Me**." She once again turns away from me. "It was my mistake to think that it could mean anything to you," She whispers almost inaudibly before walking out the room.

"Raven …" I call after her, ready to follow her, but Starfire stops me. "I do not think that she wants to talk to you right now," she hisses uncharacteristically harsh. She looks from me to Terra, who is leaning against the stove, and then back at me. "Maybe you should leave Raven alone."

And then she as well leaves the room.

Terra approaches me, laying a small hand on my shoulder. I shake her off and flee from the kitchen, the kettle whistling behind me.

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_**A/N: **So, that was it… the sixth chapter… how do you liked it… leave me a review and tell me…_

_Thanks to everyone who had reviewd last chapter… you all made me sooooo happy with your review… I love you all… _

_Until next chapter_

_Alena_


	7. Romeo and Juliet

_**A/N: **I´m back with an another chapter… a yay for me… c´mon a just a little yay...  
_

_Thanks to everybody who had reviewd for the last chapter… your reviews make me always so happy and I love to hear from you… so thank you very much._

_

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_

**_Thanks and much kudos to Cherry Jade for being my wonderful and patient beta!_**

_

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_

_Dedicated to: _****

**_RaeRikkuStrong_**

**_Raven-Angel-of-Darkness_**

**_Aurora Mikayla_**

_**Cherry Jade **_

_**Tecna**_

**_Raven of the Night676_****_ (She likes this chapter as much as I do…) _**

**_sekai no yakusoku_**

_**Mol**_

**_Lain the Fluff-Master_**

**_

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_**

_**Enjoy the chapter!**_

_**Disclaimer: Guess what? I don't own the Teen Titans!**_

_**

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**_

_**Chapter seven:**_

_**Romeo and Juliet**_

"**_A pair of star-crossed lovers."  
Romeo and Juliet, _**

_**Prologue**_

_**xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx **_

_**Raven's P.O.V.**_

'**_You know that you can't get rid of me, don't you? I'll be always there… always in your mind! I'm part of you! You could still rule the world!'_**

"Leave me alone," I growl back at the treacherous voice in my mind, unfazed as the rain pounds against everything it can get hold of.

'**_Why are you still protecting them – him? You've seen what he's done. They aren't worth protecting –they're just some pathetic humans.'_**

"I told you to leave me alone!" I desperately try to get rid of this voice. It's slowly killing me – the voices, they are draining me.

'**_You could have ruled the world. They would have feared you. Nobody would have dared to hurt you. You could have hurt them before they hurt you – before he hurts you._**

"No, I don't want to. I-"

'**_Raven – daughter,'_** I inwardly cringe at this word: Daughter. How I hate this word. How I hate to hear it out of **_his_** mouth.

Daughter.

I'm **_his _**daughter – the daughter of the evil himself.

I will always be his daughter… no matter what I do… I'm a spawn of the devil.

Daughter.

His daughter.

'**_Daughter, can't you see? You are a demon, a monster – just like me. You can't be normal. They can't trust you and they don't trust you!'_**

"No, that's not true. They do trust me. He trusts me …"

_**Flashback **_

"_Robin."_

"_Raven."_

"_What are you doing here in the middle of the night?" Raven asked her leader as she entered the roof._

"_Watching the stars?" It came out more as a question than an answer._

"_Why are **you** here in the middle of the night?" He asked back as she sat down beside him on the cold ground._

"_I … I felt you," She said hesitantly._

"_What?"_

"_I felt your thoughts. They are now … somehow ... linked with mine," she explained carefully as if she was frightened of his reaction. She looked up at him and saw his gentle smile._

"_Does that mean we have a bond? Just like soul-mates?" He asked half-joking._

"_Yes," Raven gently said._

_Both of them were still for some time, before Robin began to speak again._

"_What … did you see?" Robin looked at her, an unusual melancholy expression on his face._

"_Not much! I jus-" She began to stammer but was quickly cut short by Robin._

"_What did you see?" He inquired._

_The sorceress let out a soft sigh. "I … I saw a trapeze and two people … falling down. A cave – the bat-cave. Bruce Wayne and … Batman. Darkness – there was darkness. So much darkness and despair." _

"_The persons falling down … they are …" He tried to choke out._

" … _your parents, I know," She softly finished for him._

_He bit his lips nervously. "Did you see …" His right hand wanders to his domino-mask as if he wasn't able to finish his question._

_Raven shook her head. "No, don't worry! I blocked that memory out." She again looked in his hidden eyes. "I don't want to invade your privacy more than I did already." She added._

_Robin looked at the full moon for a while and then back at her. "If we have a bond now, I think you should know all of my secrets," He determinedly said and before Raven could protest, he pulled off his white mask._

_Sitting there, Raven stared at him for a few minutes._

"_So?" Robin said._

"_So what?" Raven asked back._

"_What do you say?"_

"_About what?"_

_He sighed frustrated. "About my eyes."_

"_They're blue," Raven stated._

"_And?"_

"_Cyborg would be happy to know that he had won the bet." Raven deadpanned. _

_Ridiculously shocked, Robin stared at her. "They bet about what color my eyes are?"_

"_Actually, Cyborg said that you have blue eyes, while Beast Boy insisted that you have no eyes at all," she informed him, with a small smile playing on her lips._

"_What did **you **bet?" He asked her grinning cockily._

_Raven raised an eyebrow. "I do not bet!"_

_He laughed at her dead-serious expression._

"_Robin?"_

"_Huh?"_

"_Thanks for your trust and I appreciate it, but I hope you know that I can't-"_

_He silenced her with a shake of his head. "You don't need to. I don't expect a reward. I trust you – unconditionally." He paused and took her hands in his. "And I know that you'll tell me everything when you're ready." He gave her his trademark smile._

_She wriggled her hands out of his. "I should go now," And with that she stood up and quickly walked to the door._

_But before she walked out of the roof, she turned around. "Robin?"_

"_Yes?" He turned his head to her._

"_They are pretty."_

"_Huh?" He asked confused._

_Raven smiled. "Your eyes – they're pretty."_

_Eyes winding for a split second, he returned her smile with his grin. "Are you sure, you don't mean gorgeous?" He wiggled his eyebrows._

_Shaking her head, she left the roof with a wave. "Goodnight, Robin."_

"_Night, Raven."_

_**End flashback**_

I'm glad that the voice has stopped invading my thoughts… although I defeated him, I still hear his voice. He won't leave me alone and somehow I fear that we will never leave me alone.

"Raven?" A voice behind her calls.

"Cyborg," I say back.

"It's raining!" He states as he approaches me.

"Really?" I raise my right eyebrow. "And here I am asking myself why I am so drenched."

He chuckles before sending me a worried glance. "You'll catch a cold if you stay any longer here."

I say nothing; just continue staring at the slowly rising moon.

"C'mon Raven, it's time for dinner. Let's go inside," Cyborg says.

I shake my head. "No, I'm not hungry. Go ahead."

"Rae, you can't leave me alone with Starfire and Beast Boy! They are constantly exchanging lovey-dovey words. It's disgusting!" Cyborg pleads.

"At least, you didn't have to listen to Starfire's ranting about Beast Boy's kissing abilities," I tell him.

"Say what?"

I just nod.

"They'll be disappointed if you don't come," Cyborg finally says after some seconds.

I turn my gaze towards him. "Huh?" I ask. Who would be disappointed? I really doubt that anybody would be disappointed.

"Starfire, Beast Boy," He tells me.

"They'll get over it."

"You know," He speaks. "They adore you… Starfire and Beast Boy – they adore you. You would make them happy if joined us for dinner. You would make us all happy. C'mon Raven, it's not that bad: I cooked, besides, I need one sane person there."

"What about Robin and Terra?" I ask before I can control myself.

Why does it bother me? Why do they bother me?

He sighed loudly. "Look, I don't know what happened between you and Robin, but I'm sure you both will work it out." He pauses and grins at me. "And if you hurt you, just one word and I'll kick his sorry ass hard."

And then, he extends his hand to me. "Are you coming?"

I stare at him, at his hand and back at him. I'm on the verge of declining when I remember the earlier voice in my mind. _'Daughter, can't you see? You are a demon, a monster – just like me. You can't be normal. They can't trust you and they don't trust you!'_

How can they trust me when I never let them?

I defeated my father… and I still don't let them come near me…

Closing my eyes for a moment, I put my hand in Cyborg. "Let's go," I say and his big grin is enough not to regret my decision.

Oh yes, it is obvious now: I've softened up, but unlike in the past where I had though of it as a weakness, I'm actually … glad.

Side by side we walk to the kitchen. "Cyborg," I suddenly say.

He looks at me.

"Thanks."

"You're welcome," He smiles maniacally and to my utter horror, he does the only thing, I fear the most: He sings!

"Because when there's trouble you know what to do. Call Cyborg! He can shoot a rocket from his shoe! 'Cause he's Cyborg! To the tune of something like that. OH, YEAH! Na na, na, na, big fluffy cat. That's right!"

I roll my eyes in frustration. "What will it cost me to make you never sing that again?"

"C'mon Rae, I know you love it." He teases me and although I would never admit it loud, I have to say: I do … like it.

"Yeah, whatever you say," I dismiss him with a wave of my hand and walk ahead of him.

Cyborg laughs whole heartily and soon follows me.

* * *

_**Terra's P.O.V.**_

Robin.

Why is he the only thing, I can think about? Why does it feel like I am drowning in his presence?

Everything gets worse after the kiss.

He didn't push me off and I felt that he wanted to kiss me. He wanted to kiss me, but why does he ignore me then? Why does he behave as if nothing had happened?

Why didn't he look at me at dinner? Why –

Raven. She is the answer. She is the reason why he ignores me.

Raven – it's always Raven.

There is just one way: I have to talk with Robin. I have to explain everything – tell him what I feel.

It's the only solution: confessing my feelings.

Feelings - it's the only thing I have and Raven doesn't.

It's the only thing I have to win Robin.

So, ignoring the others comments that it is my turn to wash the dishes; I walk straight to Robin's room.

He and Raven left the kitchen as soon as the dinner was over. I was surprised that Raven showed up at all. I half expected that she wouldn't come. But she did and as always, everybody was happy to see her.

Everybody – but me.

"Out! Go!" I hear a familiar monotone voice yelling as I walk down the hall, passing … **_her _**room.

Raven.

The door of her room is open a crack

Who is she talking? The others are still in the kitchen. Unless …

"Robin, I want you to leave! Now!" Her voice drones again and I find myself peeking through the small crack.

They are standing in the middle of her room. Robin, holding a struggling Raven by the shoulder, while Raven frowns and yells at him.

"I can help you," Robin yells desperately.

"I don't need your help," Raven spat.

"I can help you through the nightmares," Robin finally whispers and Raven's eyes widen in shock and she immediately gives up her struggling.

"What did you say?" She asks hoarsely and it drowns me that this is the first time I see her so confused and defenseless.

"I can help you, Raven. I can help you to endure the nightmares. I can help you to forget the voice you hear day by day." He softly speaks and I ask myself when it was the last time I heard using him this gentle tone.

Probably never.

And what I see renders me speechless: Raven is sobbing. She is sobbing in Robin's arms. Her body and his seem to be one and the sobs shake him till it seems as if he is the one sobbing as well or maybe he is.

"Ssshhh," He gently strokes her soft violet hair. "I can save you. I will save you," he whispers in her ear.

Why can't you save **_me_**? Why can't you help **_me_** through my nightmares?

The next thing I see will be forever embedded in my mind: Raven pulls away from him; her sobbing seems to be ebbed away.

Her amethyst eyes looks at his masked and her face comes closer to his. "Then save me," she breathes. "Help me, heal me – **_save _**me," She demands before her lips crash upon his.

They kiss and I watch them.

**Confused** – I watch as Robin draws her near to him.

Shocked – I watch as they hit her bed.

**Spellbound** – I watch as Robin peals off his mask to reveal sparkling azure orbs.

**Jinxed** – I watch as her leotard seems to melt away from her body.

**Cursed** – I watch as his uniform lands, discarded, on the floor.

**Enchanted** – I watch as Robin says, gaps, and moans her name, over and over again.

**Shackled** – I watch as he kisses her jaw, her shoulder, her quiet mouth, her eyelids, her stomach, her breast, her arms – her whole body.

**Shattered** – I watch as she moans his name and kisses his full lips and touches him, bringing him closer to his breaking point.

**Broken** – I watch as he whispers to her softly - afterwards – "I love you," over and over and over again before he falls into a deep sleep.

The last thing I hear before I run to my room is, Raven whispering something – something that seems odd out of her mouth - something I used to say frequently when I was Slade´s apprentice.

"**_Have mercy on me Father, for I have sinned ..."_**

I stumble to my room, tears running freely and I fall into a restless sleep with dreams of amethyst and blue eyes clashing together, grey and tanned skin, melting to one, violet and jet-black hair merging.

_**

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_**A/N: **So, how did you like it? Tell me, because I'm dying to know… so review... now... but only if you want to...  
_

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_

_I don't know if any Muslims are reading this (although I know for sure that at least one Muslim is reading this story), but if there are some... and since tomorrow (Thursday) is Ramadan, I wanted to wish everyone, who celebrated it, a happy Ramadan… it's strange to wish a happy Ramadan in English. It sounds strange._

_For everybody who understands Turkish (I doubt there is anyone, but… yeah… whatever... I can try it...): Bayraminiz kutlu olsun!_

_

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So, that's it… for now…_

_Until next chapter…_

_Alena_


	8. The Tempest

_**A/N: **Yay, back with the eight chapter… yippee-yeah!_

_This is the chapter some did not like because it's really short and it's more a filler chapter, but believe me it's a really important chapter… you will see soon (or maybe not so soon) why!_

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_

_Kudos and kisses and much love and big, fat thank you to my dear Cherry Jade for editing this chapter._

_

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_

_Dedicated to _**_Raven-Angel-of-Darkness_****_, Cherry Jade_****_, RaeRikkuStrong_**_, and _**_Aurora Mikayla_**

**_

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_**

**_Disclaimer: Not mine! But the poem is mine…_**

_**Enjoy the chapter!**_

**_

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_**

**_Chapter Eight:_**

_**The Tempest**_

"**_How many goodly creatures are there here?  
How beauteous mankind is! O brave new world,  
That has such people isn't!"  
The Tempest, 5. 1_**

_**xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx**_

_**Such a fallen soul  
Drifting downward from purgatory**_

_It was like she wasn't there, but then again was. _

_She didn't feel like she was there, she didn't see her hands in front of her. Yet Raven saw everything as if she really was there, like she was watching a movie happening all around her:_

_There was a little girl – a girl with violet hair and amethyst eyes._

_The little girl watched silently as a woman (who could pass off as her sister) gives in to the same man, over and over again. The older woman, who, upon closer inspection, was actually a teenager, did not cry or yell out. Her eyes held no emotions; only the lifeless stare that she gave everyone else. She was dead on the outside, as well as the in._

_As for the little girl, she was nothingness. She did not exist for she was a dream; a mere wish of the teenager for a blissful childhood. _

_The teenager was the only one to see the quiet girl hidden within the shadows, always watching how she would fuck up her life continuously. _

_**You had a chance  
It was spent on greed and vanity  
Petals of blood caress you as you sink into flames**_

_Everything was quiet and still except for the two figures within close proximity of each other. The little girl wearing a light blue dress with her hair hung loosely down past her waist stood next to the bed, amethyst eyes looking straight ahead; ignoring the commotion her future self was making with the unknown man._

_The man and woman were total opposites of each other. _

_He was like fire, fiery and passionate. _

_She was like ice, cold and indifferent._

_He had ebony black hair that contrasted so much against her pale violet locks. _

_Even their eyes were differing. He had marvellous dark sea blue eyes as she had dull amethyst eyes._

_**Flames of hell  
Flames of despair  
Flames of fury**_

_Nothing mattered to them. There was a thin line between reality and fantasy. Sometimes, they would even merge together, forming a puddle of incoherent thoughts and worlds. There was no rules, no happiness. The comfort of the other occupants in this twisted life was the only security for living, if one could call it that._

_The young man was the stronger one, possessing the violet haired teenager. The young adult was the weaker figure, at the mercy of the man. But what she didn't know was that she held the power and not the man. It's a sad thing indeed that the woman was trapped indefinitely within her own mind. No one was hurting her, only herself._

_**What were you searching for?  
What were you seeking?**_

_She blinked and there were flames. She was surrounded by flames. They were creeping through her skin, but there was no pain – just this strange desire or longing for… for… she was not sure for what. But she knew that the desire grew and grew_.

_She sniffled and she could sense/smell the disgusting scent of burnt skin. She could smell the morbid scent of dried blood._

_Her mind screamed at her to stop and to not move, but her body betrayed her. It was moving on its own accord through the flames._

_**Self-realization never comes from mirrors.  
Prices aren't given to hearts.  
You fell victim to the myths of the world.  
You are victim to flames**_

_The nauseous scent intensified and her body arched and craved. Not matter what she would find, her body wanted it – needed it._

_**Flames of hell  
Flames of despair  
Flames of fury**_

_That's when she saw it…_

…_blood! There was blood. Overall was blood. Her hands, her legs, even her face was covered in blood. _

_There was nothing else but blood and flames and…_

…_flesh._

_**Such wrath had consumed you  
So much pain that you couldn't breath**_

_Burnt flesh,_

_carbonized flesh,_

_ripped apart flesh,_

_bleeding flesh,_

_cut flesh,_

_bruised flesh,_

_tattered flesh,_

_battered flesh,_

_human flesh,_

_green flesh,_

_brown flesh,_

_orange flesh,_

_and_

_white flesh._

**_Did you think that murder would end it?  
Did you think that thievery could heal?  
All you have now is the vipers of guilt_**  
**_That coil around your soul_**  
**_They strike at your hope,  
Their venom engulfs you.  
Their fangs pierce you as you descend into flames_**

_There were bodies – no, not bodies, but bones, skeletons. _

_Skeletons with ripped flesh clinging at the broken and shattered bones._

_There were bodies – five skeletons._

_**Flames of hell  
Flames of despair  
Flames of fury**_

_Battered carcasses… and blood._

_So much blood._

_She was drowning… in blood, suffocating… in blood._

_**How could you have imagined such pain?  
Such brimstone?**_

"_No," She choked out as she detected a metallic half-skull._

"_No," She breathed as she saw a part of green skin tangling from one of the skeletons._

"_No," She gasped as she caught sight of long, red hair lying in a puddle of blood._

"_No," She cried out as she perceived a white mask clinging desperately from a skull._

"_No," She screamed out as she realized what she had desired the whole time._

"_No, no, no," She cried and screamed and yelled as her body and a dark side of her mind longed for more - for more blood, for more flesh and for more victims._

"_NO!"_

_**How could you have known that this is where it would end?  
But end it will not, the flames will continue, they char away at your wings;  
the plundered wings that you tried to fly with,  
Fly toward peace.**_

"No, no, no, no," Raven cries as she awoke from her nightmare. The same nightmare, I had witnessed.

"Ssshhh," I reached out for her, but she pushed me away, staring at something behind me with wide, terror-stricken eyes. It's as if she is looking right through me, as if she doesn't see me at all.

"Raven," I try to sooth her, but she withdraws from me. "I'm here. It's me, Robin. Everything is ok. I'm here!"

"No," She whispers. "No, go away. Go away. Go away! Please." Her hands fly up to her head, clutching it between her small, grey hands.

_**Hell ends not, it exists for eternity, and flames will burn on, burn away, burn forever...  
They seer everything you had.  
But you had nothing. **_

"Go away! Leave me! Go away!" She cries over and over again, shaking wildly. "Please, leave me. I don't want this. I don't …"

Despite her shaking wildly, I throw my arms around her nude form and try to calm, to save her – just like I promised yesterday.

Her shaking ebbs away slightly and now she is rocking back and forth in my arm. "They don't want to go away. They just don't want to go away." She chokes out, her voice not monotone anymore, but … frightened.

_**Intangible truths were far from your grasps, you bought into falsehood in order  
to obtain them.**_

I softly stroke her hair, trying to understand what she is saying. "Who doesn't want to go away?" I asked her gently, although I knew the answer.

"He… they… they don't want to go away. There was blood – so much blood!"

"It's ok now! I'm here – here to help you. They'll go away," I sooth her, unable to believe in my words.

How can I help her?

It seems as if she thinks the same. She pushes away from me and stares at me with her big, glazed, dull amethyst eyes.

_**But you lost; you gambled, and invited the harlots of evil into your bed  
Now your loneliness is amplified by flames**_

"You can't help me," She says. "You can't. You can't. You can't. You can't. You can't!" She whispers over and over and over again as if she is in a trance.

I take her in my arms again and hold her tight, trying to block out the truth in her words. I can save her, I need to save her. I need her.

I…

_**Flames of hell  
Flames of despair  
Flames of fury**_

Maybe she is right?

Maybe I can't help her?

Maybe I'm doomed to see her falling apart?

* * *

_**A/N: **Another chapter ready! YAY! So, how did you liked it?_

_Thanks to everyone who had reviewed so far… I'm really happy that there are still people who read my stories and you can't imagine how grateful I'm for that. I wish, I could do more for you than just say thank you, but… you know…_

_Every review is appreciated and makes me really, really happy…_

_Ok, so… _

_Until next chapter…_

_Alena_

_**P.S. **_

_**This is Cherry Jade and I have a one-shot coming out soon! So read it and tell me what ya think! I hope that you all will enjoy it. –smiles- (Ok, this is me alena-chan and I recommend you to read the one-shot… it's soooo great, believe me you will love it… ok, what are you waiting for?... Go… read it… now…!)**_


	9. Snow White Part I

_**A/N: **The next chapter… it's the new chapter… yay…_

_Thanks to my fantastic beta, wonderful friend, talented fellow RaeRob-authoress **Cherry Jade**… you rock girl… you just rock and I love you!_

_I won't say much… just enjoy the chapter… okay…_

_

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_

_Dedicated to**:  
**_

**_Cherry Jade _**

**_Lain the Fluff-Master_**

**_Raven-Angel-of-Darkness_**

**_Chica De Los Ojos Cafe_**

**_Tecna_**

_**Mol**_

**_And FOREVER_**

_**And to everyone who had reviewed and mailed me and read this story**_

_**

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**_  
**_Disclaimer: I still don't own the Teen Titans!_**

**_

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_**  
_**Chapter Nine:**_

_**Snow White **_

_**Part I  
**_

_**"Mirror, mirror on the wall, who's the fairest of them all?"**_

"**_Snow White" by The Brothers Grim_**

_**xxxxxxxxxxxxxxx**_

_**Robin's P.O.V**_

Sometimes during the night I caught myself staring at her, analyzing every detail of her face that is already memorized to heart. I wanted to make sure that she was alright. I'm was afraid that when I close my eyes she'll disappear and leave me alone.

And now I'm doing it again.

I think to myself what it's like to hold her hand, to squeeze her waist in my arms, or tickle the silky smooth skin over her stomach. I can feel her hair just from remembrance, imagining every strand sliding through my fingers. Just like I've done it yesterday, I don't need to touch it directly to really feel it. I stare at her and can fantasize about her sitting on my lap.

I fantasize everything I want to do with her – everything I imagined to do with her for such a long time.

She usually catches me staring at her like that. She always seems to look up right in the middle of my fantasy and I'm forced to smile and turn away. But not before she glares at me.

Right now I am thinking about things completely off the top of my mind, simple phrases that I don't even need to think of, they just come out so naturally. I think about her small belly button, I think about her adorable ears, or about her slender neck and fingers. I'm just thinking about her while I stare at her smooth nude body.

She is beautiful – so beautiful.

She's sleeping now and she resembles an angel while sleeping. Not that she doesn't look like an angel when she is awake – but when she sleeps you totally forget how stubborn she can be or how angry her now closed eyes can look at you. When she sleeps, she is so… serene, so pure, and so angelic.

I… I love her.

Yes, I, the Boy Wonder, the former sidekick of Batman, the leader of the Teen Titans, love Raven.

But not only does Robin or the Boy Wonder love her.

No, **_I_** love her.

I, Richard Grayson, love Raven.

I. Love. Her.

It's so simple, yet so difficult.

I sigh and she stirs in her sleep and I trail a finger down her shoulder, before tugging the blanket up around her neck. A small smile on her lips appears and I 'm happy.

I wish everything could stay like that, but with Raven nothing is easy – I know that.

I crawl out of her bed and grab my clothes from her floor. I quickly dress up and with a last look at her peaceful face, I leave her room.

She needs her rest. After everything that happened last night, she probably doesn't want to see me.

_**Flashback**_

"_Raven," Robin called after the sorceress who tried to disappear behind the door to her room, but she was stopped by her leader._

"_Raven, I need to talk to you," He said as he shoved her to her room, not bothering to close the door behind him._

"_Get out of my room!" Raven yelled._

"_No," Robin stubbornly said. "I want to talk!"_

_For the first time, Raven looked at him._

_He sighed. "I'm sorry, I…"_

_Raven cut him short. "There is no need to be sorry." She said. "Now go!"_

"_It meant nothing to me. I was just… confused. It really meant nothing." Robin stuttered and looked deeply in her amethyst eyes that stared at him emotionlessly._

"_As I said before, you don't need to explain anything to me. It's not that I'm your girlfriend." She told him._

"_Rae…" He began, but Raven waved him off._

"_Robin, please leave!" She said sternly, but Robin could see that she looked at him almost… pleadingly. But he couldn't leave her, he just couldn't. He had to make her understand, to make her see._

"_It meant nothing, I…" Robin tried to explain, but he didn't make it far._

"_You're lying," Was her only reply and Robin realized that she was right. He didn't know what the kiss between him and Terra mean or why he had kissed her, but he knew one thing for sure: He needed Raven – more than anything else._

"_You're right," He confessed and walked closer to her. "But Raven, I know what the kiss between you and I meant to me…" He was now mere inches away from her and to his utter surprise, Raven didn't make any motions to move away. "… The same it meant to you."_

_Raven's eyebrows were drawing together ominously at his last words._

"_The kiss meant nothing to me," She spat out._

_Robin just smiled sadly and leaned closer. "Now, you are lying," Before his lips landed on hers._

_It was slow, gentle kiss, and at first Robin wasn't quite sure why he'd done it. Maybe just because her lips looked so bruised and vulnerable._

_He was sure she would push him away, but she didn't. Instead, he felt her arms slip lightly, tentatively, around his neck, and he pulled her closer to him, shielding her from every danger, every nightmare that waited for her. His hands were on her shoulder blades, which he could feel clearly even through her cloak. They felt as delicate and brittle as wishbones._

_And he realized something else as he held her and kissed her and she kissed him back._

_Raven was trembling._

_Raven wasn't sure why she was trembling, but it had started as soon as Robin kissed her and she couldn't seem to make herself stop._

_She leaned against Robin, pressing closer to him, her arms locked around his neck, standing on tiptoe to press her mouth more firmly against his._

_She thought that if she could just get close enough to Robin, just lose herself in Robin, then she would stop shaking and he would make her feel alright._

_But suddenly she realized what exactly she was doing and she abruptly pushed herself away from him._

_He now stood in front of her, breathing heavily, holding her shoulders so hard; she thought he would crash them._

_Distantly she could hear sounds of shattering glass._

_What had she done?_

_**End Flashback **_

I still don't understand what had happened afterwards or how it happened.  
But that doesn't matter anymore. It happened and I begin to realize that it was a mistake.  
She was vulnerable and she needed comfort and I gave her…

"Ouch," I yell loudly as I pump into someone – someone hard. I look up and see Cyborg's worried face in front of me.

"Morning Cy," I greet him and try to walk around him to the common room, but Cyborg's body blocked my way.

I look at him confused. "Wh-"

"We have to talk," He simply says and gestures me to follow him into his room. I reluctantly do it.

Once in his room, I ask him. "About what do you want to talk?"

"Raven," He answers as I sat down on a chair while Cyborg takes a seat a cross of me.

"Raven?" I echo. Somehow I should have expected that. I mean, Cyborg was always protective, especially over the girls.

"Yes, Raven," Cyborg confirmed and looked at him sternly. "Ok, Boy Wonder, I don't know what you are playing, but I hope for you that – whatever you do – won't hurt Raven or…"

"… You will hunt me and sent me six feet under." I finish his sentence for him.

"Yeah," He nods, but he still looks at me with his stern expression.

"So…" I say, waiting for him to continue.

"So, what do you…"

"I love her," I blurt out before he can finish his question and I see that Cyborg's eyes widened.

"You do?" He asks and I realize that he wants to make sure that I won't hurt Raven.

"Yes," I state honestly.

"Look, Robin," He began. "I believe you, but I'll make sure that you won't hurt her. That means that I'll keep an eye on you."

Now, I begin to get angry. Why does he hover so much about Raven? Did he have that talk with Beast Boy as well? Somehow I doubt that.

"Why do you bother so much?" I ask between clenched teeth. "It almost sound like you're in love with her." I accuse without really thinking what I say.

Cyborg raises his eyebrow and looks at me… bemused? Why is he bemused? "Oh, I do love her," He tells me, smirking all the while and I feel the blood rushing through my head. 'He loves her?'

"She's my little sister," He finally says. "Of course I love her. Why, are you jealous?" He asks me smugly and I know that right now, I could compete with tomato.

How could I be so stupid? Why can't I control myself when it comes to Raven? Why…

"You know, it's ok to be jealous, but… don't be so obvious." Cyborg tells me and I roll my eyes.

"Yeah, yeah, whatever," I mutter.

"Does that mean you and Raven are official now?" He asks suddenly and I'm speechless.

Are we official? That's good question and if I could do anything than the answer is yes, but somehow I doubt that Raven will say the same. To be honest, I don't know what Raven will say to this question.

"I don't know," I confess truthfully.

He nods his head in understanding. "Did you tell her that you love her?"

What am I supposed to say to that question? Oh yes, Cyborg, I did tell her that I love her - after I fucked her senseless. I can only imagine what he would do to me after this answer.

So, I just nod.

He nods again and I ask myself how he always manages to help us all with our problems while he never seems to need help on his own?

"Then tell her again and again and again… until she believes you," He says. "C'mon Boy Wonder, you never give up. Why now?"

Yes, I never give up. Why now?

I smiled and straightened my back and stood up from the chair. Yes, I never give up and I won't give up this time as well.

"That's right! Go and get her, **_tiger_**!" Cyborg encourages me as I walk towards the door.

Tiger? I repeat in my mind, but decide to just ignore it. Who knows what Cyborg is thinking in his crazy brain and besides I have something important to do.

Raven, I'm coming!

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_**Terra's P.O.V**_

'**You are a failure!'**

My fists connect with the punching bag.

'**_You are worthless'_**

Again and again my fists fly to the wildly swaying bag.

'**_Nobody cares about you'_**

Harder and harder I hit the stuffed leather and my knuckles are cracking.

'**_Nobody loves you'_**

Faster and faster. Pain is for the weak, pain only makes you stronger.

'**_He doesn't love you'_**

Another hit and another and another and another.

'**_Robin doesn't love you'_**

With one last strike, the punching bag flies into the wall and I bent over with my hands on my knees, my lungs rattling.

"He doesn't love me," is the only sentence I can mutter out as I stumble onto the floor. "He loves her!"

I didn't understand before I saw them together how two people can fit together like pieces of a puzzle. I hadn't known that one person can complete another person, can supple something you haven't known is missing.

They are made for each other. They…

Damn, why can't I stop the tears from falling? Why can't I…

'**_Because you are a failure! You are weak!'_**

"No, stop! Please stop! You are dead. You can't… You…"

I am shaking. Why am I shaking? Am I sobbing?

No, stop!

Don't cry, stop.

Crying is for the weak.

Stop.

But the tears refuse to stop. Mercilessly they keep falling and falling.

I will ran out of tears, I tell myself, but it does not stop them from falling down and shattering like my broken heart.

"Terra?" My heads jerks at the direction the voice comes from.

"Beast Boy…" My voice trails off and I try to hide my face from him.

'_Don't let him see you crying. Don't let him see you weakness!'_

But it's too late, he is already next me, sitting on the floor while looking at me concerned.

Concerned?

Can he really be concerned about me?

I try to title my head to the side so he can't see me, but he holds my chin in his green hands and forces me to look at him.

"Why are you crying?" He asks and I know for sure that he is worried. "Are you alright? Are you hurt? Terra?"

His questions crackle upon like storm.

"I… I…" I try to tell him that I'm alright and that he should leave, but nothing comes out of my mouth.

"Terra…" I don't know why but his sorrowful and sympathic voice makes me loose my control.

I begin to sob and seems as if there is no end.

"Terra… don't cry. Tell me why…"

"He doesn't love me," I choke out between sobs and Beast Boy's eyes look upon me confused, then as if he understands, he hugs me.

"He doesn't love me, he doesn't love me," I say over and over again as I press my face into his chest.

"It will be ok, don't cry! Everything will be alright!" He tried to sooth me and I ask myself why I can't believe his lie.

_**

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_**Raven's P.O.V**_

"Mirror, mirror on the wall…" I murmur as I look into the mirrored door of my closet

Usually, I avoid looking at myself in a mirror, especially when I'm naked.

Am I crazy because I position myself in front of my mirror naked? But then again when was I ever normal?

I stare at my reflection and see a lonely, fragile woman staring right back at me. A woman whose tears stopped falling a long time ago. I can still hear how her heart breaks and how the shadows of darkness close around her.

A woman with dark vibrant violet hair, and dull amethyst eyes. Ironic what a strange contrast my hair and eyes are - alive and dead, side by side.

My gaze drifts down my gray body.

Gray.

I always hated – and still do – the color of my skin.

Gray.

Just another reminder that I'm abnormal – a freak, a monster.

My hands reach to my breasts and I cup them in my hands. Firm and large.  
Not small, but not too big. They are… perfect. At least that's what Robin had said… yesterday… when…

I let go of my breast and my hands wander over my flat stomach to my toned thighs… but what does he sees in me?

I don't have a body like a super-model. I don't have Starfire's sensual body or Terra's perfection.  
I don't have the sweet, naive nature of Starfire or Terra´s cuteness.  
I'm… I…

That's the problem, I don't know what I'm.

A demon?

A human?

Both at all or nothing at all?

Or maybe something in-between?

Why does he love me?

I love you.

I love you.

I love you.

I love you.

I love you.

I love you.

Six times – he said it six times.

The first time he said these words I was shocked – totally shocked, the second time I was crushed and the third and fourth and sixth time I… I… was… relieved, glad, and happy.

I was happy to hear him saying these words.

They are just words – just three, little words.

They mean nothing- nothing, nothing, nothing.

"Who are you kidding, Raven? They didn't mean anything," I ask my reflection.

Yes, who am I kidding? Robin never says anything he doesn't mean.

Robin would never say 'I love you' and don't mean it. He just wouldn't.

Robin wouldn't play with me.

Robin loves me.

He loves me.

Robin loves me.

"But why? Why?" I ask the woman staring back at me. "Why does he love you?" I nearly scream at the mirror.

No answer.

And before I know what I am doing, my image splinters into a thousand. I let my cut hand drop to my side, a pool of dark, garnet red blood growing below it. Slowly the spider web cracks grow, and the slivers of glass crumble to the floor.  
I stay there, looking numbly at the mess. The pulsating pain of my bloodied hand barely registering.

Suddenly someone knocks at my door, snapping me out of my trance.

'_Ignore it!' _My mind screams.

Another knock. "Raven, it's me!"

'_No, don't let it be him!'_

"Rae, please open the door or I'll open it myself."

"Shit, I can't let him see me like that," I whisper to myself as I hastily heal my bloody hand.

'_Why not? He saw you yesterday in a much compromising state than now.'_

"Shut up," I yell.

"What did you say?" Robin asked from the other side of the door.

I sigh. "Nothing! Just wait a minute and I'll open the door."

"Stupid, stupid Boy Blunder," I murmur as I put on my leotard and quickly fix my mirror.

"Ra-"Robin begins but is cut short when I open the door a little bit.

"What do you want?" I demand, knowing that this is probably a stupid question. I mean, I'm asking the man I slept with last night and who witnessed one of my nightmares what he wants from me. If this isn't stupid then I don't know what is.

But it seems as if Robin didn't pay any attention to or my question or my harshness. "We need to talk," he says before pushing me away and walking into my room – without asking me – and takes a seat on bed – without asking me.

In normal circumstances, he would be dead by now, but I know we really need to talk. There is so much we need to clarify.

"So?" I ask as I close the door and stay in front him.

He just looks up at me and patting at the space next to him, gesturing me to sit. With a sigh I let myself fall on the bed.

Silence.

The silence between us stretched and usually I wouldn't mind the silence. Heck, I would be grateful if I could have silence for some minutes. But now, it was just ridiculous. He wanted to talk and now he sitting on my bed, staring off into the distance.

"Robin, you wanted to talk," I remind him and he jerks out of his deep thoughts. His masked eyes rest on me.

"Yeah, I wanted to talk," He pauses and takes my hand. I'm on the edge of jerking them away from his hands. I don't know why, but right at the moment I can't stand any physical contact.

'_That was not what you thought last night when he touched more than your hand_ _and if I remember correctly you enjoyed it immensely!' _My consciousness speaks again.

I just shake my head and try to concentrate on Robin who seems to battle with himself.

He is nervous, frightened and…

No Robin, don't do it. Don't say it. Not now, not again. I can't…

"I love you, Raven!" He says and I feel his heart reaching out for me.

Why Robin? Why did you have to say it again?

I just stare at him unable to return something.

"Say something," He suddenly speaks.

"What?" I ask hoarsely

"Something that doesn't make me feel like an idiot," He says. "Do you love me?"

No, don't – don't ask this question.

I have to answer.

"I do not love," I murmur and I see how he flinches at my words.

"I know Raven you can't love, because your emotions are unstable, because you can't risk hurting anyone… bla, bla, bla!" He seethes. "But that wasn't my question. Do you love me?"

I shake my head. "You don't understand Robin," I finally say.

"Then make me!"

"I don't know if I love you. I… don't know what love is at all. I just don't know," I admit and it's true, I don't know what love is.

I look up at him and see him smiling softly. A hand reaches up to my cheek, creasing it gently. "I can teach – show you."

Again I shake my head. He still doesn't understand.

"Have you ever tried to capture a bird?" I question him.

He is silent, but I know that he understands.

"Robin, if your arms were the chains that captured me, if your love was a trap I fell into, your smile stole my wings away from me would you let me escape? Would you let me go if I were to ask you?" I ask him.

"Raven, if you want me to let you go and leave you, I'll do it. " He stands up from my bed. "If you want me to pretend nothing had happened between us, I'll do it. You want me to never say 'I love you again', I'll do it. I'll do everything, but Raven, I can't stop loving you and I won't." His masked eyes are locked with mine. "What do you want me to do? Should I leave?"

That's it, I could say 'yes' and everything would be back to normal or as normal as it can be. I could say 'yes' and forget he ever said those words, I could say 'yes' and bury away everything he stirs up in me. Yes, I could and I probably should, but it seems as if my heart has own over the logical part of my mind.

"I… I don't want you… to leave," I whisper hoarsely.

Smiling at me he walks to me, kneeling in front of me, his arms encircle me in a hug. "Then I won't," He says in my ear, gently stroking my hair.

"Robin, I…"

"Shh, we will deal with it – with everything… but later," He whispers.

"Later," I echo his words while my hands clutch on the back of his uniform top. "Later."

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_**A/N: **That was it… that was the chapter… so, how did you like it…? Review and tell me… okay…?_

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_Btw, I received many mails telling me that many of you aren't able to review the newest chapter to Casablanca Liles… it's probably because I replaced the author's notes with the actually eight chapter. So, if you already reviewed the author's notes you can't review the eight chapters unless you review anonymous. Yeah, that means you have to review anonymous, but if it's still not working you can just mail and tell me how you liked the chapter…_

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_Now to the thank you´s _

Raven of the Night676: **_Here was your update! I hope it was soon enough and that you liked the chapter!  
Thanks for the review!_**

Wicked Azar: **_Thanks and I hope that this chapter was satisfying! Let me know if you liked it…_**

  
Cherry Jade: **_Hey!  
How are you girl?_**  
_**Thanks for all the reviews… it´s always sooo good to hear your opinion, because what you think means a lot to me… and I´m more than grateful for all the support you give me… I wish I could do more than just say thank you… so, if you have any wish, just tell me, okay…?**_  
**_Btw, can´t wait to read the next chapter to "Beauty Is With Us"!_**

serenity77: **_Five skeletons, because she saw Robin, Starfire, Cyborg, BB and Terra… I hope that answered your question…  
Thank you very much for your review! _**

BigBlackWoman: **_Yeah, I din´t see that… that´s pretty crazy and really funny…  
Thanks for the review and I hope you liked this chapter as well!_**

Aurora Mikayla: **_Hey! It´s always nice and good to hear from you!  
Thanks for the review and I´m happy that you liked the chapter… although wasn´t that good, but it made me happy to hear that you liked it… so, thanks!_**

Lain the Fluff-Master: **_Hiya!_**  
_**So, first of all, thans for your review… and I´m glad you liked the chapter – although it wasn´t that good.  
And I´m more than happy that you liked the nightmare… I tried to write it in a different style, but I´m not sure if it came out right. At least, I learned not to try new styles on my stories…**_  
**_Ahhh, that´s good to hear… that your muse is back, I mean… because I can´t wait to read more from your wonderful stories.  
Btw, your muse is a he…?_**  
_**My is a she… a little bitchy (sorry for the language) she, becausee right now she decided to leave me for a vacation…**_  
**_Anyway, again, thanks for your review and let me know if you liked this chapter too. _**

SweetNCrazieSugarmuffin: **_Paris Hilton…? Ooookkkaaay… uh… yeah…_**  
_**Anyway, thanks for the review and I´m happy that you liked the chapter… so, thanks!**_

Tecna: **_Hey!  
How are you? I hope you are feeling better now…  
Thanks for the review and for the compliment… I happy that you liked the chapter… and let me know if you liked this chapter as well._**

And FOREVER: **_Yeah, Robin can be really sweet… if he want to…  
So, thank you so much for the review. You know, you are one of the persons who read all of my crappy work and review for them and that makes me so really happy… thank you very, very, very, very much for that! _**

**_Aero_**: **_Thank you! I´m sure glad you liked the nightmare part, because I worked hard on it and it´s always good to hear that people like your work… so, thanks!_**

Dark Shadows 01: **_It was more of a nightmare Raven had.  
Thanks for the review and I´m glad you liked it. Let me know if you liked this chapter as well._**

Dusky92:**_ Thanks! Glad that you liked it… and hopefully you liked this chapter too…!_**

Raven-Angel-of-Darkness: **_Ok, if that was you shortest review..then…wow…you sure know how to write long reviews!_**  
_**Anyway, it´s always great to read your reviews and I´m glad you still review my crappy stories… yeah, ok…  
So, I´m happy that you liked the last chapter, because I spent a long time to write the nightmare…thanks for thereviewand I hope you liked this chapter as well.**_

azn sister 92: **_We will see if Robin can help…?  
Anyway, I´m more than happy that you liked the chapter and I hope you liked this chapter as well! Thanks for the review! _**

Aurora812**_: Yep, you understood everything perfectly fine! And I´m glad tht you liked the chapter and the nightmare… so, thank you very much for the review._**

Iris Night: **_Thank you so much… I´m glad you likd the chapter and I hope you will continue enjoying this story._**

Chica De Los Ojos Cafe: **_Ah, it´s always such a pleasure to read your reviews… so thank you very much for reviewing all of my stories! You just rock my world!_**

ravenrogue19: **_Thank you!_**

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_Ok, that was it…_

_Until next chapter…_

_Alena_


	10. Snow White Part II

_**A/N: **Yeah, I updated, I updated, I updated… and tomorrow there will be more updates… to my other stories… yeah…_

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_Thanks and kudos to my awesome beat and friend **Cherry Jade **for beta-ing and her support… you are just the best…_

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_**Disclaimer: **Nooooooooooooooo, I don't own them… I don't own anything…_

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_**Chapter Ten:**_

_**Snow White Part II**_

"**_Mirror, mirror on the wall _**

_**who's the fairest of them all?"**_

_**xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx **_

_**Terra's P.O.V**_

It was a day of blue skies edged in grey from the lingering storm. The docks no longer had the strong fish-gut smell that would assault one's senses, but the winter sea and the scent of salt was in the air… though that would not last long since the fishermen would soon return home from the ocean with their new piles of fishes - and it was that smell that would bring tears in my eyes whenever I look back to yesterday. Papa stood on the docks, his hands in his pockets and his eyes to the horizon, pensive and far away. I must say that at the time I was not paying too much attention to my father; I was still young and naive. To a child, the moods of parents are only interesting if they are angry with you or willing to give you something. At the moment, all I could think of was how fascinating the docks were, how pretty the boats with their paper sails, and how glorious the ocean stretched.

I watched fascinated at the flight of sea gulls in the sky, their squawking cries did not deter me from seeing their beauty and their freedom. I did not mind the slipperiness of the filthy wood beneath my feet.

"Papa, can we go eat?"

Papa was silent. I think that's what made me look at him, what made me study him and remember how he had looked that day, before he collapsed my world. The last moment I saw him as a god, and a pillar in my life.

His back was straight. His dark hair was cut short, his green eyes searching the sea for answers a seven year old child could never give him. A tailored suit adorned his tall figure and made him stand out even more than his hair and his height.

The dock rocked beneath my feet as the wind blew by like a wave from the sea and his words knocked me down, succeeding where the wind failed. An act he was able to accomplish through mere words to tear apart my childhood.

"Tara," his soft voice echoes still in my dreams, "Your Mama has cancer, the doctor says that she will die in a two months, four if we're lucky."

I blinked. I think at first I thought it was a joke! I didn't know whether he expected me to laugh, but when I looked up at his tears falling like tiny crystals in the emerging sun, I knew. I stood there silent, in indecision. At the time I did not know what cancer meant, the disease that was my enemy, but I had already learned the general meaning of death even though I had never concerned myself with it, as at that age we still believe in eternity and the god-hood of our parents.

"Will Mama be an angel then?" I finally asked in a small voice. Maybe she will visit us, maybe she won't leave her only daughter behind.

Mama wouldn't be cruel like that.

Papa looked startled for a moment at my naive question, at my desperate attempt to hold on to the reality I had taken for granted for over seven years of my short life. He laughed and the laughter shattered my world in its harsh tone, like the squawk of a sea gull overhead. As I have said before, he did not intentionally hurt me in that moment. No, Papa was too lost in his own sorrow and anger to notice mine, to care about the despair in his laugh. My father, at the time was blind and blinded by his bitterness, by his love or my Mama.

**_My_** Mama.

Already, he was trying desperately to get a grip on his own world, by distancing his world from mine, from ours. He was trying so hard, he couldn't even see this small papa's girl standing in the storm with him anymore. He was not holding onto me or I to him, and in that, for a while, I was lost in the storm with him. For many years I stayed lost, even if I tried desperately to pull myself out of it, to pull myself out of that bitterness and that isolated shell I have created for myself, that Papa had taught me to create on that decaying dock on the side of the sea as I lay drowning in my own confusion.

That was the day my Papa died and Father took over...

It could be said that I had only lost a mother to the disease of life, to the things of fate and destiny. But in reality, I had lost both Papa and Mama in a single day and from then on, from the bitter laughter that escaped from my Papa's lips, I had learned the safety of silence and reserve. I had learned how to protect my heart and pride from mockery, from defeat by the undisturbed sound of nothingness.

Two months, Papa had said, four if we were lucky. Two months and I would be an orphan, and at that moment I realized that Mama would not live to see me turn eight. My seventh birthday would be my last. Later on, I would think of all the things she would never be able to witness or attend. Moments like my wedding day, like the ones that they showed on the old fashioned TV shows; the ones that the old ladies gossiped about along their crooked and narrow streets, an event that would be missed by the most important woman in my life. Mama would never be able to judge the man I fall in love with. Mama would never be there to see me grow up, fall in love and have kids, nor would Mama be able to become "Grandma" to my children. These dreams out of a million dreams died that day. Yet, I was focused on things closer than the distant future at the time. For then, I was still remembering the way Mama had brushed my blonde hair that very morning and how the ritual would end soon.

I remembered the laughter in her voice while buttoning my mismatched clothing. I remembered the smile on her face as she cooks and cleans and…

I stopped thinking then and I looked at the sea that had all the answers my grownup father could never give me. And then he said something to me that closed the door to ever getting back into youth.

"Tara, I want you to know the truth," he said in a voice that did not sound like my Papa's anymore. It was a stranger's voice to me now.

"Your Mama doesn't know that she only has two more months left to live and I don't want her to live the last days of her life knowing that she's going to die. Do you understand, Tara?"

He turned to me and his eyes were no longer filled with tears. For a moment I think I caught a glimpse of the Papa I knew, as the pain lingered there and the openness of his eyes returned. Too soon, the emerald turned hard and cold, reserved and unforgiving, and he was a stranger once more.

I think loss blinded me as well that day, the last day of my innocence.

"Can you keep a secret, Tara?"

I nodded, not trusting my own voice.

There was nothing I could say to this stranger. He scared me a little, only this time it was not because Papa's angry, but because Papa's gone and I don't know the man in Papa's clothes with Papa's hair and Papa's eyes that weren't really his anymore. I was confused and dizzy, but I did not faint or fall or stagger. I just stood there in silent obedience, in fear, frozen for all times as that little girl that was "Tara", that had once been Papa's little girl and Mama's princess. She was gone now, taken by the wind that rocked the dock I was standing on, drowning in the ocean with all its mysteries and answers that a human being can never have nor ever give.

It was two weeks to Christmas. And Mama would be dead a little over a month from that day. I had no wish to rejoice, but I had promised, I had agreed. Two months to the last I would see of my father's laughter, his own pretence that life can go on. Adults are so much better at pretending, perhaps because they had more practice at it. Still, it was the first time I was asked to act the opposite of what I felt. To repress the pain into a tiny point that would only prick me if I thought about it. And I'd do anything to not think about it!

I stood there silently, contemplating how I was going to play a lie during the last two months of my Mama's life and hated myself for it.

Father transformed into Papa again the moment we stepped from the outside and into the door. It was hard to keep track of reality in those last two months. I remember it like a dream because I was torn between a lie and the reality that made living with this lie hidden beneath it all both harder and easier.

I remember my last Christmas with Mama. I recall the tree that Papa had found with rough bark and shedding needles. It was not a perfect tree, but it was perfect to us!

And every time I smell the pine at Christmas, I remember that tree that filled our rooms with the smell of spicy wood, the memories of the last Christmas I celebrated with my family, my Mama and Papa.

Papa and I decorated the tree with sparkling ornaments, glass angels, and gold beads. And I was glad, I made so many wishes that day that I couldn't possibly count all of them. But many were the same. The wish for happiness and peace and Mama. I wished that the lie would end. That I could cry, instead of holding it all in till it was a prickling thorn that stabbed at me in the night, when the laughter was gone and I could no longer pretend that everything's alright.

I found no solace in the darkness that would not let me rest. I found no haven in the silence knowing that maybe tomorrow Mama's sheets would be cold and her bed empty and she would be gone...

Gone.

I would try to think of everything but what was happening beneath all the pretence, behind all these walls. It was the first time I learned to start building walls around my heart, when my laughter became less infectious and more subdued, when I learned to listen more than I spoke. It was on days like these that I learned to be silent for hours on end, bidding my heart to slow from the terrifying race it went through as I'd woken from a nightmare with my hand reaching out for my Mama and a silent cry on my lips.

It was the first time I stopped asking Papa for advice or Mama for comfort. The first time I dug a hole for myself on the inside and tried to burrow deep down into it to hide from the pain. If Papa noticed, he said nothing of it; if Mama knew, she never confronted me. I was solemn while I smiled, crying while I laughed. It was my first brush with real deceit and I wanted to die. I wanted the nightmare to end and I wanted to disappear into the darkness, leaving my own darkness behind me like a shadow swallowed in the night.

"Tara, tell your father to stop stealing those cookies I baked!" Mama winked at me before turning to scold my sheepish Papa.

He laughed, and I thought I heard an echo of sadness in his laughter. "You're just unhappy that I took some pictures of you in the kitchen today," he replied with a grin.

"You forgot the part where you dumped flour all over me before you grabbed that camera and started snapping!" Mama answered him darkly, though her smile did not leave her face.

I giggled at the memory of it, stopping myself when I realized that in a little while she wouldn't be with us anymore. And that thought scared me so much, because I could not imagine my world without her in it, without Papa's laughter and Mama's teasing. No more tumbles in the leaves that we gather when we go visit the park in the fall. No more chases around the pond, or feeding the ducks with crumbled bread. No more late nights past bedtime, watching the stars from the roof-top of our house, trying to see past the city smog. No more iced-tea in the summer and swims at the local pools to cool down from the heat. No more burnt cookies - since Mama swears she'll never get used to the oven - and soup while the rain runs in little patterned rivers down the window pane. No more Mama, no more smiles, no more secrets told in the dark and hugs given when I'm scared in the night.

All gone.

She looked at me and I smiled as I broke off the black, charred sides of the cookies and ate the middle where it's soft and sweet, pretending that this is not my last Christmas with her. Pretending that this is not my last laugh given, but that happiness goes on and on like the rivers and the sea. Pretending to dream old dreams like I used to have as the snow fell unendingly outside my window, covering the world in white.

Pretending.

With the candles glowing, and the soft music on the radio playing, with the white fluff gathering outside, I could almost believe that my own little fairytale would come true, that my wishes would be answered against all odds. I needed to believe that my days of joy would be as uncountable as the flakes drifting to the ground outside. The snow, for a while, hid the truth of what the cold claws of Winter had done to the world, just like the lies I lived with hid what Death had done to mine.

And for a while, it was beautiful.

"Tara, when is your Papa coming home?" Mama asked worriedly as she wrung at her handkerchief. Her blue eyes wide with worry.

I blinked.

With Christmas gone, Father began to work overtime. There were days when he didn't come home till midnight, sometimes even later. Mama would worriedly sit up in the night, eyes wide with sadness and they'd argue. He, angry at everything, and she, frustrated and uncertain. I don't know what was worse, the arguments or the morning with the tension filled silence. Breakfast, where no words were passed. Then there'd be days when they would smile and life was right again.

I was so confused.

"He'll come home soon, Mama," I lied. When did I get so good at telling lies like these? When did I learn to lie to my own Mama?

Life's funny that way, isn't it?

I wanted to cry; instead, I smiled.

"Everything's going to be alright, Mama." What was I saying?

Mama smiled in return, and I don't know why it hurt so much to see her so pale. Papa, where are you? I wanted to scream at him. I wanted him for once to stay and watch Mama get paler everyday, thinner everyday, sicker everyday. Does he know what it's like to clean the kitchen floor where she's thrown up? Does he know what it's like to clean Mama's face because she's unconscious on the smooth tiles? Does he know how it feels to try to catch her body with my small one, only to end up crashing onto the ground? How many bruises has he seen on her arms and legs because of the falls? How much pain does he see her in without him by her side while the sickness ate away her life? Does he even remember that he has a family?

Everything I wanted to ask him and never did.

I lived with the silence.

Silence is safer.

The silence in the morning, with my eyes on the table.

"Tara, you should go to bed now." Mama sighed as she petted my head, "It's past your bed time." She wrapped her arms around my waist, but I didn't want her to lift me. She was getting so weak these days that she had trouble getting up in the morning to make breakfast. She was dying before my eyes and I couldn't get away from this room, this house, this place, because my Father was doing all the running for me.

He didn't have to see a thing.

I think I hated him in that moment.

"Alright Mama, but you promise you will go to bed soon too?"

Mama laughed before her eyes clouded over, "Sorry, Tara, but I have to wait for your Papa to come home."

Papa's gone, I wanted to say. I open my mouth, and exhale, "Ok."

I climbed up the stairs, leaving a lonely, fragile woman behind me, her eyes looking at the front door. A woman whose tears stopped falling a long time ago. I could hear her heart breaking, I could see the shadows of darkness closing around her. I closed me eyes and shut the door, lean my back against the wood and looked at the empty ceiling in this empty house.

So many memories, so many phantoms haunting my nights.

I rested my head against my leg and remained with the silence for a long time. In the dark, I dreamed of an angel coming forth, white and shining against a black night, illuminating my dark world. Healing me. In the dark, behind my eyes I felt safe.

Yet I stayed awake listening for the sound of Papa coming home, unwilling to admit to myself that I still loved him and needed him. Unwilling to admit that just because I'm not downstairs with Mama, watching that door opening, waiting for him to step through smiling like he used to, that I cared.

I ran out of tears as well, I told myself, but it did not stop them from falling down and shattering like my broken family.

Mama stayed up after midnight. Mama kept dinner on the table waiting for Papa to come home. She did that till she couldn't get out of bed anymore. Even then, she'd lie there waiting for him to return to her. I never knew why she loved him so, why she forgave him even though he caused her so much pain.

Somehow, she forgave him everything for Love.

And then, Mama was gone. She died after two months.

Two months... I guess we weren't so lucky after all. For with her went all of my smiles, my love, my Papa, and all the joys of my youth.

And all through the days and weeks to follow, I found Papa looking at me and looking away. I found myself looking in the mirror at the eyes I got from her and asked myself what it was that he found in me that made him look away. He had no Mama to run away from now, but he had me. It was February, dark and cold. I didn't know who I was and who this stranger, this Father was, anymore.

So, it was no real surprise when he left me as well…

Funny, how I think about all this now. I had left these memories behind… or so I thought.

It's funny, how memories are coming on the surface when you don't want them to. Ironic, how you can remember things, sniplets of your past when all you want is forgetting the present and your future.

For now, I look at my reflection in the glass and turn away, hating myself. Was it because of me that Papa ran away? Was it my fault that Mama died alone? I don't know anymore.

The mirror has always been my enemy, because mirrors are able to see through my mask. Mirrors are able to see through my many disguises, mirrors remind me of the fact that I'm weak and a failure.

Mirrors show you the truth, mirrors don't lie, mirrors are cold, mirrors are harsh, mirrors don't let you live in your fantasies…

_Mirror, mirror on the wall…_

_**Thump, thump. Thump thump**_

And now, I cry silently, like a small child. My hearts beats monotonously.

…_who's the fairest of them all?_

_**Thump THUMP thump. Thump THUMP thump.**_

I realize I've been wrong. My heart starts beating louder and more in rhythm. I've been to the bottom and to the top, and I go back to the bottom.

_Mirror, mirror on the wall…_

_**Thump THUMP thump. Thump THUMP thump.**_

I cup my face in my hands. It's getting red now. I cradle myself, in search for comfort.

_**Thump THUMP thump. Thump THUMP thump.**_

I splash my face with water. I look into the mirror. I hate that image. It makes my blood boil.

…_who's the first one left alone?_

It's because of this image my mother died, it's because of this image my father left me, it's because of this image Robin doesn't love me.

_**Thump THUMP THUMP THUMP thump. Thump THUMP THUMP THUMP thump.**_

_Mirror, mirror on the wall…_

My body fills with anger. My fist flies at the mirror, smashing to pieces the horrible reflection.

_**Thump THUMP THUMP THUMP. Thump THUMP THUMP THUMP thump.**_

My hand is filled with blood. Mine. Small pieces of glass lie on the floor. I smile.

_**Thump THUMP THUMP THUMP. Thump THUMP THUMP THUMP thump.**_

I take a shard in my hand. I take it, and slide it across my skin.

_**THUMP THUMP THUMP THUMP. THUMP THUMP THUMP THUMP THUMP.**_

This pain, a thing I should have felt a long time ago. I deserve this. My lips form into a smile of pleasure.

_**THUMP THUMP THUMP THUMP. THUMP THUMP THUMP THUMP THUMP.**_

I turn my bloody arm over.

_**THUMP THUMP THUMP THUMP. THUMP THUMP THUMP THUMP THUMP.**_

The sharp glass is there. All I have to do is touch it with my skin.

_**THUMP THUMP THUMP THUMP. THUMP THUMP THUMP THUMP THUMP.**_

There

_**THUMP THUMP THUMP THUMP. THUMP THUMP THUMP THUMP THUMP.**_

Almost

_**THUMP THUMP THUMP THUMP. THUMP THUMP THUMP THUMP THUMP.**_

There

_**THUMP THUMP THUMP THUMP. THUMP THUMP THUMP THUMP THUMP.**_

Tears spring to my eyes and I drop the glass shard.

…_who's the weakest of them all?_

_**Thump THUMP THUMP THUMP. Thump THUMP THUMP THUMP thump.**_

I drop to the floor, my whole arm dripping in blood. I start sobbing loudly, my face red and teary. I close my eyes, rocking myself back and forth, trying to get some comfort.

_**Thump THUMP THUMP THUMP. Thump THUMP THUMP THUMP thump.**_

I hear footsteps...

_**Thump THUMP THUMP THUMP. Thump THUMP THUMP THUMP thump.**_

... closer

_**Thump THUMP thump. Thump THUMP thump.**_

... and closer

_**Thump THUMP thump. Thump THUMP thump.**_

… a knock

_**Thump Thump. Thump Thump.**_

"Terra? Are you in there?"

_**Thump Thump. Thump Thump.**_

It's him.

I try to regain my composure. "Yeah," I answer and I'm surprised that my voice sounds so firm and strong.

"What are you doing?"

"You tell me?" I say back. "What do you think I am doing in a bathroom? It's not difficult to guess." That's good, act as if everything is alright, don't let him see what he does to you.

From the silence that followed my words, I know that for once I had outwitted him. He has no reply. Funny, how good it feels to have – for once - the upper hand.

After some seconds, he sighs and then speaks again. "Terra, I need to talk to you," He pauses. "Meet me in my room when you're ready… with whatever you do, ok?"

He wants to talk to me. I wonder what he wants to tell me, although I can imagine what our talk will be about and I have the deep desire to smack away the cocky grin he always wears.

"Yeah, whatever you say," I say instead and hear him retreating.

With a deep sigh I turn back to the mess I made and my eyes wander through the pieces of glass lying on the floor and to my bloody arm.

"I hate mirrors," I mumble as I try to clean the mess.

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_**A/N: **Yes, that was the long awaited chapter about Terra's past… hope you guys liked it… just review and tell me… please…?_

_Again, I wanted to thank my readers for their wonderful reviews… you guys are wonderful and your reviews make my days… so, thank you very, very, very much… I love you all…_

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_Ok, now something entirely else: I decided to make a challenge (can you say that?)… _

_I want you guys to write RaeRob or RaeSpeedy or RaeCy or TerraRob – one shot, but you have to use one of the following lines:_

'**_Love is like chocolate, you can't get enough of it!'_**

_**'A hero doesn't cry!'**_

'_**Will you be here for all eternity?'**_

'**_And his scent was like the scent of life.'_**

'**_Silence is safe. That much he/she knew.'_**

_So, one of these lines have to appear in your story… and the pairing has to be one of the ones mentioned above… okay…?_

_The first price will be a story written by me… just for you. You can choose if you want me to write a one-shot or a chaptered story… you tell it, I'll do it…_

_The date when the challenge will end is at the end of January… I think…_

_So, I want at least five entries for the challenge… please… c'mon, you know, you want to…_

_If one of you decided to take part in the challenge then mention that you wrote your story for my challenge in your summary and send me a message or a mail telling me about your story… _

_Ok, I hope that many of you will take part in my challenge and I want to read many, many, many stories…_

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_Yeah… that is it from me… for now…_

_Until next chapter…_

_Alena_


	11. Hamlet

_**A/N: **It's another chapter… yay… wish I could say more, but I'm so really tired… so tired… forgive me…_

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_Kudos to my awesome beta **Cherry Jade**… love ya girl…_

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**_Dedicated: _****_Raven-Angel-of-Darkness_**, **_Kikiks_**, **_Cherry Jade_**, **_Daybreak25_** and **_Mind Shadow _**_and_**_ Tecna_**

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_**Disclaimer: Not mine…!**_

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_**Chapter Eleven:**_

_**Hamlet **_

"And then it started like a guilty thing  
Upon a fearful summons."  
**Hamlet, 1. 1**

_**xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx**_

_**Terra's P.O.V**_

"Hey," Robin said as I enter his room.

"Hey," I say back and look at him as he sits on his bed.

One thing I learned from living on the streets and as Slade's apprentice it is to notice the small things. One can't survive when he isn't able to catch small things about a person and of course you have to use them right.

So, it's not really difficult for me to notice Robin's tightly clasped hands or the way his lips quivered means: He is nervous and I would lie if I say I don't enjoy seeing the Boy Wonder nervous.

I look away from him as his masked eyes as they stare intensively at me.

I rather look around his room and I realize that it is the first time that I'm in his room, and his room looks everything Robin stands for.

I always find it funny that your bedroom can give away your whole personality… or for Robin the hiding of his personality. Just like his mask, his room hides the real Robin. White, almost blank – save for the clippings of villains - walls. There is a table with a notebook and a bunch of papers on, a large king sized bed, a dresser was against the opposite wall.

My eyes rest on the nightstand next to the right sight of his bed. There, on the simple furniture are the only personal things which could give you indication of his personality.

Two pictures are on his nightstand. One of the pictures is the photo we had made a while ago at the park. It was summer and we decided to have a picnic and Starfire insisted on taking a picture from all of us. So, we asked a man to take the picture. We had a hard time convincing Raven to pose for the picture. Robin had promised her a copy of one of her favorite books and that was when she agreed to the photo.

But it is not this photo which draws my attention, it's the other one. It's a picture of Robin and _her_. They look younger, maybe thirteen or fourteen. Robin has his arms around her waist and a goofy look on his face, but a happy smile on his lips and Raven… was smiling… as well. It was not a big smile, but she was smiling. They were standing in front of the T-Tower.

I think he saw that my eyes are fixated on this picture, because the next thing I knew is that he was speaking. "It was the day we moved in the tower." Surprised that he said something I look up and my eyes meet his masked ones.

"The picture – it was taken the day we moved in this tower." He explains and before I know what I to say I blurt out without thinking.

"She looks… beautiful." I think he is as surprised by my words as I am, because he gives me a puzzled glance before smiling at me. Oh, how I love his smile.

"Yeah, she is… beautiful," he agrees and my heart seems to shatter all over again. It's not his words that hurt me, but the way he spoke out the words. So gentle, longingly…so lovingly.

His eyes wander to the picture and before I can say anything, he talks again. "We had just decided to from the Teen Titans. We were so excited when we first saw the tower, but we both knew it was perfect for us. You know, I wanted her to be the leader. I mean, after all she had been the one who approached me to fight together and she had been so much stronger with her power… but she insisted that I should be the one who should lead the team," he pauses and I ask myself why he has to tell me all this. It's not like I want to hear it in the first place.

"So, you wanted to talk with me?" I ask before Robin can say anything else. I just don't want to hear him talking about Raven anymore. It's far more interesting to know what he wants from _me._

And reading from his expression, it must me something important.

"Why did you kiss me?" He asked bluntly.

'Way to go Boy Wonder', I think to myself. If there is one attribute to describe Robin, it's probably straight forwardness. He had to learn to keep himself in check and wait for the right opportunity.

But back to his question: Why did I kiss him?

_**Because I love him.**_

Yes, that's the answer, but not the answer I want to give him.

But what would he say when I tell him that I love him?

"Why did _you_ kiss _me_?" I ask instead with a smile.

"I didn't kiss you. It was you-"

"You kissed me back," I cut him short, content as his head darts to me, surprise etching over his features.

Gotcha ya, little bird. Now, how do you want to get out of that?

"I…" He stumbles over his words. "That's not the question here," He regains his composure and stands up from his bed, "Why. Did. You. Kiss. Me?" emphasizing each syllable in a menacing way.

I really don't know if I should be frightened or amused, but I think my face reflected the latter option, because Robin scowled at me. "What's so funny? Just answer my question!" He orders.

Ok, that's the last straw. Who does he think he is ordering me around like that? I won't give in that easily. I'm not like Raven, just because he looks at me with his handsome face I won't break down.

"I don't have to listen to this shit," I muttered and proceed to back away from him, but he grabbed my arms and jolt of pain shots through my body. He grabbed on the arm I had earlier let out my frustration and the wounds still hurt.

Damn you Boy Wonder!

"Let go of me," I spat out trying to jerk away from his grip, but unfortunately or fortunately – I'm not sure which one - he decides to tighten his grip and pull me towards him.

I stumble…

He stumbles…

and we fall onto his bed…

me, lying on top of him…

His arms around my waist…

My face just inches away from his.

I can smell him – his cologne mixed with his own intoxicating scent.

I put my fingers to his face.

It feels so soft and hard, smooth and rough, familiar yet new and exciting.

I realize that I could easily kiss him.

Would he kiss me back this time as well?

Would it lead to the same action it had between Raven and him?

There is just one way to find out.

My face comes closer to his, but before my lips can brush over his, he jerks away his head and one word escapes his lips.

"Raven!"

Strangely his eyes are fixed on a spot behind me. I look around my shoulder only to stare into confused and saddened amethyst eyes.

"Raven," Robin calls out again and pushes me away so hard that I land on my back on his soft bed.

"Raven!" Once again I hear her name out of his mouth and he moves forward to her and to my relief she backs away from him; her eyes were a whirlpool of confusion, sadness and betrayal.

'_Have a taste of my life, huh Raven?'_ I think nastily to myself.

"Raven please! I…" Robin isn't able to say anything else as a blaring sound interrupts him.

"Trouble…" Raven chokes out and her stone-cold façade is intact again and she phases through the floor before Robin is able to hold her back.

I look at Robin. His shoulders perched, his head hangs low and to my utter surprise, I feel… guilty…

"Robin, I'm s-" The words don't want to come out of my mouth.

He just looks at me with a sad frown. "Let's go! The others are probably waiting!"

And that was the last thing I hear from him before he dashes out of his room.

Yeah, the others are waiting or is it Raven who's waiting?

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_**A/N: **Yeah… review and tell me how you guys liked it…_

_Thanks for all of your reviews… you guys rock… so very much…_

_Can´t say more… so damn tired… sorry…_

_I wish you a Wonderful New Year´s Eve and a Happy New Year… I hope all of your wished will come true…_

_**Love…**_

_**Alena**_


	12. The Winter’s Tale

_**A/N: **The twelfth chapter is ready and believe me, it was really hard and difficult to bring this chapter out. Somehow I've lost my inspiration to write… but yeah… whatever…_

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_Kudos and thanks and much love to **Cherry Jade** for beta-ing this chapter… and all of my other stories._

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_Dedicated to: _

**_Chica De Los Ojos Cafe_** _Because it´s her Birthday today… so, Happy, Happy Birthday and I hope you will have a wonderful day today…_

_**Cherry Jade: **Because she rocks and because she is just awesome and wonderful… check out her stories, you will love them…_

**_Daybreak25_**_Another wonderful and awesome person and friend… and fellow RaeRob **AND **RaeSpeedy-shipper. Btw, read her wonderful stories… they sre great…_

**_Raven-Angel-of-Darkness_**_Because she is awesome and she loves this story as much as I do… maybe more and because I love her stories…_

**_Mind Shadow_**_Because he is so cool and a great friend and a wonderful author! You have to read his stories… you will love them…_

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_**Disclaimer: Not mine!**_

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**_Chapter Twelve:_**

_**The Winter's Tale**_

"I am a feather for each wind that blows."  
_The Winter's Tale, 2. 3_

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_**Raven's P.O.V**_

'_Ignore him – just ignore him!_' That was and is my mantra since I left Robin's room.

It was my mantra when we dashed to the crime-scene and it was my mantra when Robin decided to split up the team and paired us together and it's now my mantra as I stay here in an abounded warehouse, my back turned towards my leader observing the scene while Robin's eyes are boring into me.

'_Ignore him, ignore him, ignorehimignorehimignorehimignorehim!' _Over and over and over I hear my inner voice whispering to him.

I hear a sigh behind me and footsteps.

"Raven…" Robin says his hand landing on my shoulder. My body stiffens under his touch and he pulls his hand away.

"I think we should go back to the others. There's nobody here and maybe they've found something," I speak up and to my surprise I managed to speak in my usual monotone voice.

Now, it's a growl I hear from behind me and before I know what happens I'm spun around only to face a seething Boy Wonder.

"Raven," My name escapes his lips sounding like a mixture between a growl and plea.

"Raven – just listen to me, I can-"

"… Explain everything," I finish for him shaking my head at his words. "You can always explain everything, can't you?" I ask angrily and take some steps away from him. We are too close, I notice as my heart begins to beat violently under my chest.

But unfortunately, Robin decides to drop his I'm-the-good-guy-and-I-give-you-all-the-space-you-want tactic. He grabs my wrists pulling me close to his hard chest in one fluid motion.

"Just for once… listen to me: Raven, it was not what it seems like it was. It meant-"

And again, I cut him short "… nothing…" I laugh hollowly trying to pull away from him, but he has an iron grip on me. "Funny, that I always catch you with Terra in a compromising situation and it means nothing to you, but how should I know that **_I_** mean**_ something_** to you? Tell me Robin, how can I know for sure that you don't tell Terra the same thing you tell me? Was the 'I love you' you told me a lie?" I taunt him unable to control my anger and jealousy… yes, I'm a jealous and I can't control it and from Robin's shocked expression I know I struck a nerve.

"You don't mean that, Raven. You…" He stumbles over his words and I know I hurt him deeply – just like I had intended to do, but why didn't I feel better.

Shouldn't revenge be sweet?

"Rae…" He whispers hoarsely and I'm surprised how many emotion such tiny word can hold. I look up at him and all I want to do right know is pressing my lips against his.

"Robin, I'm-" I'm not able to finish my apology. I stop in my tracks and all of my senses went on alert. I can feel it – something is wrong and before I can tell what is wrong I feel a dark presence behind Robin and my eyes catch a shiny object.

'_NO!' _My mind screams before I find myself pushing Robin away from me to the ground and before I can jump away I feel something hard hit my head. A sudden rush of pain befuddles my senses and all I can see are tiny knots. My knees give away beneath me and I crash harshly to the ground.

"Raven," My name is coming out of Robin's mouth and I try to turn my head towards his direction, but I can't – it hurt too much.

… A low chuckle…

… A gasped "No," …

… a cruel laughter …

… "Slade," A name spit out with venom and hatred …

… Another laugh …

… The clashing together of two Bo-staffs …

… The nauseating sound of flesh being squished …

… The disgusting sound of breaking bones …

… The hollow sound of shattering glass

… The heartbreaking cry of pain of a robin …

… A laughter again …

I desperately try to get up, but everything seems to melt away around me. I can't focus, I can't think. _'No, stay up! Robin… he might be in danger…' _My mind screams, yells, cries at me.

"Don't do that," I hear Robin rasping out.

I begin to panic, my hands pushing against the ground, but I feel all hope leaving me when a pair of cold hands grabs my shoulder pulling me to an armored chest.

Suddenly something cold and sharp is pressing against my neck and my body and mind seems to be paralyzed with fear.

'_But you do not fear! You can easily escape, just concentrate and use your powers,'_ A small voice tries to remind me, but all logical thought leaves me when I feel **_him _**leaning close to my ear.

"Got you, little Raven!" He whispers with a low voice. A shiver runs down my spine as I feel the pressure of the knife press harder into my neck.

'_Pull yourself together, Raven! Don't show him that you afraid!'_

My eyes crack open only to be greeted by Robin's horrified expression. He's holding his ribs in awkward way.

"Robin…" I manage to choke out and I see his eyes clouding with anger and pain.

"We'll get a visit soon," Slade says and just when he had finished his sentence the other Titans storm into the dimly lit warehouse, ready to take down every villain – very villain, but **_him_**. They stop dead in their tracks as they see the sight in front of them.

Mouths agape and eyes wide with fear and shook.

Instantly they catch themselves and Starfire's eyes begin to glow a dangerous green along with her hands, Beast Boy proceed to transform into a gorilla and Cyborg just lifts his sonic canon and Terra… Terra… she is staying behind Cyborg, her eyes wide with fear and she seems as paralyzed as I am.

"If I were you, I wouldn't do that or…" Slade's cold voice jerks me out of my thoughts and the knife digs into my skin – strong enough to draw blood, but not strong enough to damage me severely, but somehow I wished he had just dig strong enough. I gasp as the pain shudders through my body and my eyes roll at the back of my head.

I'm not sure how much longer I can keep awake. My strength is slowly fading away and I can feel my powers and emotions going havoc.

"Let her go, Slade!" The deep, husky voice of Robin halls through the warehouse and somehow it helps me to concentrate and keep up longer.

"You want something from me – and from her. Let her go and don't you dare to lay a single finger on her or-"

"Or what Robin? You'll kill me? Just like all the other times you tried to catch me – to kill me? But just like all the other times, you will fail." Slade laughs and his grip around my waist tightens. "But this time you could loose more than just a challenge, couldn't you?" Slade teased cruelly and I see how Robin's fists clench tightly, his knuckles turning ghostly white.

"Let. Her. Go." Robin pauses struggling to bring out the next words. "I'll do and give you anything you want." Pleadingly – he sounds… pleadingly and I try to tell him that he should stop. It's not right – Robin can't surrender… not the fearless Boy Wonder… he can't, it is wrong, so wrong…

"That's precious Robin, but I have already what I want," The older man informs Robin and his gloved hands run over my cheek. My body automatically flinches away, but the knife keeps me in place and in the far corner of my heart I feel all hope fading away.

"I won't let you have her," Robin yells and I sense that he is as hopeless as I am and I ask myself how I can survive when even Robin sees no hope.

"**_We _**won't let you get her," Cyborg's deep voice reaches my ear.

"You won't harm our friend," Starfire growls uncharacteristically.

"And how will you do that?" Slade asks and although I can't see him, I feel the cruel smirk on his lips and to emphasize his words the knife grazes my neck.

"I…" Robin seems lost for words.

"And do you **_really_** want to rescue her?" He suddenly taunts and my eyes seem to be locked on Robin who seems angered beyond words.

"Of course I want to rescue her. How…"

"Tell me Raven, how can you be sure that he really wants to help you?" Slade ignores Robin and addresses me.

"He…" I try to say, but Slade brushes me off.

"How can you be sure that he loves you?"

My eyes widen with shock. How does he know?

"How can you be sure that he doesn't play with you?"

"No, he loves me," I struggle against his words. I look at Robin waiting for any sign, but he is just standing there.

"How do you know that he doesn't love **_her_**?" Slade continues gesturing at Terra.

How does he know?

"Do you really think he could love you?" He mocks me, taunts me, and angers me. "The spawn of a demon? Do you really think he could love you when he can have every other woman?" He spats in my ear.

"No…" I choke out.

"Raven…" I hear Robin calling, but his voice doesn't reach me – not really – not anymore.

"He doesn't love you…" But Slade's voice reaches me.

"They don't love you…"

No, no, no, stop, stop, stop…

I can feel it – something… inside of me… struggling to get free…

'_He doesn't love you, they don't love you, he doesn't love you, they don't love you, hedoesn'tloveyoutheydon'tloveyouhedoesn'tloveyoutheydon'tloveyouhedoesn'tloveyoutheydon´tloveyou…'_

"No, no, no… please stop… stop… it's not true, not true…" I whisper struggling harder to get away from the man who is able to bring out all this feelings. I feel a sharp pain as the knife grazes my neck.

Colors, light, sound, voices are all blurring together and I am so tired and I wish I could just close my eyes – I wish the voices in my head would silence – I wish… I wish… I wish…

"Goodbye, my little bird – until next time!"

Slade's voice is the last that I hear before my eyes close and I fall into a sea of blurred green, yellow and red.

"Raven… Rae…"

_**Darkness there and nothing more.**_

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_**A/N: **So, tell me what do you think? How was it…?_

_The last time, I posted this chapter one person said in his/her review that Raven acted too much like a damsel in distress and that she was totally out of character. I think that probably some others think that as well and all I can say to that is that her behaviour will make sense in the following chapters. It's difficult to explain it without giving away the plot… so just wait and you will what I mean… okay…_

_Ok, that was it from me… for now…_

_Love…_

_Alena_


	13. Venus & Adonis

_**A/N: **Finally, I managed to bring out the next chapter… yay… not much to say… I think…_

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_Thanks and kudos to **Cherry Jade** for beta-ing this chapter… and every other story. You are truly the best and I just love ya!_

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_Dedicated to everyone who took his/her time to read this story and review… thank you very much for all your lovely, wonderful and awesome reviews… you guys are just so wonderful…_

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_**Disclaimer: Not mine!**_

_**

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Chapter Thirteen:**_

_**Venus and Adonis**_

"Bid me discourse, I will enchant thine ear,  
Or, like a fairy, trip upon the green,  
Or, like a nymph, with long disheveled hair,  
Dance on the sands, and yet no footing seen:  
Love is a spirit all compact of fire,  
Not gross to sink, but light, and will aspire."  
_Venus and Adonis_

_xxxxxxxxxxxxxxx _

_**Flashback**_

"_I want to know what exactly what happened out there?" An angry Cyborg hissed at the Boy Wonder and Terra as they all stood in the infirmary gathered around the sorceress who was lying in a bed. She looked so peaceful, so serene, and so angelic._

"_You know what had happened – you were there!" Robin said calmly his eyes never leaving the girl in the bed._

"_Don't give me that shit, Robin! You know exactly what I mean and I want answers," His voice dark and he gestured at the blonde girl who stood on the wall. "… from both of you…"_

"_What ANSWERS?" Terra nearly screamed. "I don't understand what you want from me!"_

_Cyborg shook his head while pacing up and down the infirmary. "What answers?" He repeated and shook away the arm Beast Boy had placed on his right arm to calm him down. _

"_Maybe you could answer me why Slade had attacked Raven? Or what he had meant when he said that Robin wouldn't love her?" He looked nastily at Robin. "Or what you both have done to hurt her?" He was now towering dangerously over Terra and Robin. "These questions – I want answers to these questions!"_

_Robin looked calmly at his friend, but his clenched fists were indicating that it took all his willpower not to reach out for his friend. "What happened between Raven and I just concerns us." _

"_Oh no, it's not just between you two… or three," He added sternly. "Look at her Robin… Look: She is hurt Robin… hurt." _

_Starfire and Beast Boy both backed away from the hybrid man. _

"_Don't you dare to tell me that it's just between you and her. **We **are her friends and if she is lying unconscious in the infirmary it concerns all of us." He paused for a while and glanced at Raven. His eyes soften, Cyborg sighed. "What did you do to hurt her?" He finally asked his voice strangely soft and melancholic. And if Cyborg had looked into his leader's face he would have seen the hurt and guilt that flashed through his face for a split-second, but unfortunately Cyborg gaze was fixed on the pale young woman who rested peacefully on the bed – unaware of the harsh and cold atmosphere that surrounded her._

_Robin who was ready to unleash his guilt and anger onto his friend was about to speak up when Beast Boy decided to step between his two friends._

"_I don't think it's the right time to kill each other," his eyes as well darted to Raven. "We have more important things to thing about. I think we…"_

"_No Beast Boy, I want to know now from them what they did to hurt her!" Cyborg interrupted his friend._

_Robin's masked eyes darted to his side while Terra kept staring at the scene in front of her. _

"_Friends… please… we shall talk about this later," Starfire filled the silence with her melodic voice. "I don't think that Raven would want us to exchange the harsh words."_

_By now five pair of eyes rested on the purple-haired vixen and once again the room was filled with silence…_

… _Until Robin spoke up. "Guys, you should go and rest… I… will stay here and look after her."_

_Cyborg wanted to argue, but… somehow he was too tried to say anything… too tried to think… too tried to think what could happen… he was just tried._

_So, instead they all looked one last time at Raven walked out of the room, followed by Terra and Beast Boy._

_Starfire proceeded to follow, but she waited and said. "You will surely inform me… us if something happens?" It wasn't a question._

_Robin nodded, but Starfire was still there._

"_Robin…?" No answer._

"_Robin…"_

"_Do you think it was my fault?" Starfire was taken aback by this question. It wasn't something she had expected – at least not from her leader._

"…" _Why was it so difficult to answer? She just had to say a single word._

"_That's what I thought," Robin said softly, gently. He didn't sound hurt or angry… he was strangely calm._

"_Robin, I don't think you hurt her deliberately, but… I think that you did hurt her," She tried to explain. "Just when we saw you and Terra kiss each other…" She added unsure if he was still listening to her. It was hard to tell with his back turned to her._

"_It's ok, Star… I know it's my fault…"_

_It hurt the Tamerian princess to hear one of her friends sounding so hurt and fragile. _

"_Ro-"_

"_What am I supposed to do?" He asked suddenly and Starfire wasn't sure what he exactly meant._

"_Talk to her," She answered and was satisfied to see him turning his head towards her, a confused look on his handsome face._

"_Talk to her, tell her how you feel, what you feel… I'm sure she'll hear you… she will understand you," And with that Starfire left. _

_**Flashback end**_

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_**Robin's P.O.V**_

That was now an hour ago and I'm still sitting on a chair next to Raven, her small, cold hands placed in mine.

"_Talk to her." _That's what Starfire had said to me.

Talk to her?

Talk to her…

Talk to her!

"I remember a time when everything was perfect, a time when I was just a little boy and not the Boy Wonder… a time when I was truly happy…

One single moment.

That's all it takes to ruin a lifetime of happiness, to bring regret. One wrong move. That was it took to destroy my life. One mad man.

That was all to end their life and mine's with it. Life is funny that way...how it can change the people you love into strangers. It doesn't make them inhuman, it does not necessarily mean you stop loving them or the other way around, it just means that things will never be the same again.

Life is a funny thing, don't you think, Rae?

It takes getting used to not having them there. When I cry out at night for my dad or my mum to comfort me, they won't be there.

It's a little lonely there in your heart where your love for your parents grows and resides and always will be ignored, never returned. It's a little lonely here when the years pass and they aren't there to witness the things that are special to you in your life and you're not there to witness theirs. It's hard to learn of their mortality when you have yet to deal with your own. But most of all, it's the sound of their voices and the sweetness of their smiles that I miss, that I long for and will always regret how short a time it took for those moments to flee and disappear into the distant past. That is another thing about being human, the regret. It never really leaves you, even if you know for sure that the blame does not lie with you. And regret leaves such bitterness to live with and such sadness to understand and linger in its wake.

Did I get angry?

Yes.

I've been bitter. Sometimes, when I see the joy in others' faces when they speak of their families, when I see children laughing with their parents, I feel an ache grow inside me. The envy is always going to be there with that ache, and it makes me bitter. I have become a different man, a broken man who remained in hiding, who refused to face his broken heart.

I look back now and remember the day I lost something to love, something of myself. I remember that day, the day I learned of the mortality of my mother and my father, and the truth of it from the tears that the wind mingled with and swept away.

Salt for salt, drop for drop.

I don't think I'll ever forget that day as I stood there, comprehending the difference between pain and sorrow and how closely those two tie together in a knot of silence. The day I lost a bit of my youth and gained a bit of eternity… the day my parents died.

And then there was Batman… Bruce Wayne.

Bruce… was not a bad man. I think it's one of the many things I needed to say but never got around to. In not saying it, I may have hurt more people and caused more confusion than anything else in my life.

Bruce, Batman was a _Man_. That was all. He had his good points and his bad points. He was too wrapped up in his own pain to realize that he may cause others pain. He never intentionally hurt the ones he loved, that's what we never deliberately do, even if we think we meant the blow. After all, when all it's said and done, we'd look back on it with regret if we realized the true weight of a single word we said or the way a gesture could break another's heart. Some of us are lucky and live in blissful ignorance of it all, though most of us either reap the consequences of a sigh in the wrong moment, a smile at the wrong time, or live a lifetime with the guilt of it.

For a while, I did despise him for being but a man, but now, I think, I can finally forgive him.

But then you guys came along and I found a new family… I found people I could trust and I learned to love again. I learned to… love **_you._**

Love is selfish that way.

It tests the strength of our souls with the hardship it brings.

Some people never pass the tests it throws at us while others do.

But… there were and are still the nightmares - I have never admitted to anyone, not even myself, except those nights when I left my tears on my pillow in silent sobs and shaking shoulders, when the words were forced out of me in a whisper that didn't reach past my own ears.

'**_Mama, Papa, are you there? You won't leave me behind, will you? Because we love each other, because you love me... don't you?'_**

In those moments of weakness, I hated myself. Yet I clutched my pillow tightly, and wished I was with them, even in their grave.

Somehow… as the years passed the dreams had changed. Instead of waking up and crying for my parents, I wake up crying for you. I'm not afraid of the dark, Raven not if I'm with you! I'm not afraid of the cold, because I'm already cold and dead inside, gone without your warmth, without my parent's warmth.

Gone… you… gone.

It was the first time I contended with real fear. Not the fear of the unknown, but the fear of loss and the known. I would bite at my knuckles, contemplating whether or not I could rock myself to sleep or lie there silently staring wide-eyed at the ceiling till the sky fell down on me.

I realized a long time ago that we have much in common beneath it all, both of us running from the past; both of us trying to rebuild the future by finding safety in the little haven that was the T-Tower. Both of us having no wish to remember the bygones nor looking for comfort in the future. We both have the same dreams of being heroes, of finding a place for ourselves in the world that we couldn't find within. We are, after all, both trying to run away from something neither of us could truly get away from but unwilling to face, ourselves. The truth is we are alike not just because of those trivial things that strangers find themselves having in common. Instead we share a common love for our friends and most importantly, we share the same hopes and dreams for the uncertain future, rising in the horizon.  
We both hope for the power and strength to change and rise above the memories of yesterdays.

Raven… believe it or not… I know how you feel. I'm as afraid to love as you are: It's scary to give because you might give more than you ever imagined possible. It's scary to love, because you might love more than you ever thought possible. It's scary to reach out, because you might grasp more than you can handle.

Because it hurts.

Because it can hurt you.

But it's okay. I know it is. I've been there a hundred times, losing and rising.

But I also now that we will get over it… I know it, but please Raven wake up… come back to me… I love you… don't doubt that… I love you…"

That was it… I told her everything, but what now?

What…

"Has someone ever told you that you talk too much, Boy Wonder?" A small, hoarse voice pierces through the silence.

My head jerks up and I look into the most beautiful lavender eyes someone can dream of.

"Raven…" I manage to utter out…

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_**Raven's P.O.V**_

_**She was falling. Falling deeper and deeper into the darkness – there was no halt. The darkness it was enfolding her. It corrodes her skin like acid corrodes metal but she couldn't stop it. She tried to scream but her voice wouldn't bring out a tone. She was still falling – deeper and deeper and deeper but before she was swallowed by the darkness a hand came into her sight. **_

_**A gloved hand…**_

_**A green, gloved hand…**_

_**The hand – it was reaching out for her, trying desperately to catch her. She had to grab it. The hand she had to grab the hand and before she was completely swallowed by the darkness her hands clutched onto the green, gloved hand…**_

_**xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx **_

I try to open my eyes, but they won't open. I try to say something, but… there was a voice…

'_Robin'_

"I remember a time when everything was perfect, a time when I was just a little boy and not the Boy Wonder… a time when I was truly happy…"

'_No, no, no, don't do that…'_

He was opening his heart for me, telling be about his fears, his dreams… his love for me… and I can't stop him.

My eyes won't open, my voice won't bring out a single word… I…

"Raven… believe it or not… I know how you feel. I'm as afraid to love as you are: It's scary to give because you might give more than you ever imagined possible. It's scary to love, because you might love more than you ever thought possible. It's scary to reach out, because you might grasp more than you can handle.

Because it hurts.

Because it can hurt you.

But it's okay. I know it is. I've been there a hundred times, losing and rising.

But I also now that we will get over it… I know it, but please Raven wake up… come back to me… I love you… don't doubt that… I love you…"

'_I love you'_

He stopped… I have to say something, anything…

"Has someone ever told you that you talk too much, Boy Wonder?" I finally speak up unable to listen to him any longer. I'm shocked that after all his words I'm able to say anything at all.

"Raven…" I him utter out his mouth slightly agape.

"Yup, it's me and I think you can close your mouth now." My sarcasm is on its peak and for the thousands time I ask myself why I can't talk normally with him.

'_Because he just confessed his undying love for you, or because he told you how much you mean to him, or because he laid his heart into your hands…'_

Sometimes Knowledge can be such a drama queen.

"What did you hear?" Robin's voice reached my ear and I look up only to be greeted by a troubled Boy Wonder.

"Enough," I reply. "Robin, I-" I am cut short by the man sitting next to me.

"I love you. I want you. I need you like the air I breathe. Do you understand?"

How beautifully corny, how romantically cheesy… how wonderful.

"Yes," I answer him. In my mind Happy was cheering.

"Do you doubt it?" The question was out of his mouth before I know what had happened.

Such an easy question, yet so difficult to answer.

My eyes meet his masked ones and the crestfallen expression on his face breaks my heart. "Robin…"

"I know I didn't give you reasons to trust me, but believe me I… love you. I-" I silence him with a wave of my hand.

"It's not **_your_** love I doubt," I say quietly. He deserves to know… he opened his heart for me… and now, it's my turn. "I'm afraid to hurt you…"

"Your powers…?"

"I'm not talking about my powers," I look into his eyes. "It's **_me_**," I let out a sigh. "I don't know how to love, Robin!" I finally confess. "I'm not sure how to do it, I'm afraid that I'll hurt you, I'm afraid that I never be able to love at all, I'm-" My words are cut off by the gentle pressure of his fingers pressed against my lips.

"I'll show you how to love," he whispers and I can't say anything.

"Raven, do you doubt my love for you?" He repeats his question and this time the answer is out easily.

"No… never."

He smiles down at me. "Thank God! Sometimes you're too stubborn."

A grin…

A caress of his hands…

Suddenly I want to touch every part of him – his ears and his neck and the line of his eyebrow and that corner of his mouth that curled up – just a bit, not enough for anyone but me to notice – when he was secretly amused.

My hands reach out for him, pulling him close… feeling his body against mine. And then my arms are winding around his neck and I kiss him.

A sigh…

A soft moan…

His hand on my shoulder…

His breath on my lips…

"I love you, Raven…"

"Robin…"

His eyes, his strength, his love...

My arms are no longer empty.

I'm so happy.

So much power... too much...

So much strength… too much…

So much love …never enough

A kiss...

Robin

Another kiss…

I'm no longer alone….

Heal my pain...

Don't let me dissolve into nothingness within your arms…

"Love me, Robin…" A silent plea

"Always…" A promise, a vow meant to be never broken…

And I close my eyes… falling, falling into a sea of icy blue…

'_I love you, Robin…'_

My last thought before my eyes close and I drift away…

… _And I'm falling, falling… into a sea of… blue magnolias…_

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_**Terra's P.O.V**_

Why does it bother me so? Why does it bother me that Cyborg doesn't trust me? Why does it bother me that Robin couldn't look at me? Why does it bother me that Raven is hurt? And why do I feel so guilty?

I let out a sigh as I approach my room, I push in the access code and the door swishes open… before closing behind me.

Then… suddenly… a cool draft spins through the room.

I'm tensing and my eyes begin to flash yellow, ready to attack, but before I can do anything a gloved hand clamps over my mouth and small chuckle reaches my ear.

"Hello, dear…"

My mind reels with fear and recognition… I know that voice anywhere.

"Have you missed me, my dear apprentice?" A cruel, mockingly question.

'_Slade… no…'_

_**To be continued…**_

_**(I always wanted to write/say that)**_

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_**A/N : Explanation to the last part of the scene where Raven is dreaming about blue magnolias: **There is a belief in Turkey that when you dream or envision blue magnolias something bad will happen and with bad something evil is meant. I don't know if anybody knows about this belief, but Turkish people – especially older people believe quiet stubbornly in that and somehow I decided to use that in my story._

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_So, that was the chapter…! Tell me, how you guys liked it, okay…?_

_I know that not many people liked this chapter the last time I had posted this story. It was said that Robin was too emotional and the same goes for Raven. _

_First, I wanted t rewrite this chapter, but then I changed my mind, because I really do love this chapter and it is one of the few chapters I'm really proud of… (I sound so vain and arrogant right now…)_

_I know that Robin is a bit to emotional, but I think that in the situation Robin was in, he can be a bit emotional… and the same goes for Raven… and besides, I want to you to keep in mind that I have a reason for them to behave the way they did/do. This story is planned out from the beginning to the end… from the way I portrayed the characters to the conversations – they all have a reason and will make sense once the story progresses and as I told you before, this story will be very long. 20+ chapters or so…_

_So, stay tuned for more twists and turns… _

_Btw, with the next chapter I'll finally post new chapters… and no reposted chapters… just wanted to point that out…_

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_Oh, and… REVIEW! _

_Please…?_

_:puppy eyes:_

_Pretty, pretty please…?_

_Ok, I think that's it from me… for now…_

_Take care and be safe…_

_Love, Alena_


	14. Othello Part III

_**A/N: **Yeah, I'm back… after seven months, I finally managed to update this story._

_So, before anything else, I wanted to apologize for the long wait. I could give you many reasons why I haven't updated, but I'm sure you don't want hear them._

_But what I want to tell you guys is how grateful I am for all your wonderful and encouraging reviews.  
Believe me, it's because of you guys why I'm still writing Teen Titans stories.  
So, thank you very, very, very, very much for reviewing and reading and sending me wonderful e-mails._

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_Last, but definitely not least, I want to thank my wonderful beta-readers **Cherry Jade **and **ChaiChi**. Thank you so much for dealing with me and insecurities. You both are really the best!_

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**Disclaimer: **_I don't own The Teen Titans or any related characters... they all belong to DC Comics or WB!_

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_So, without further ado: The new chapter to '**Desert Rose'**._

_Enjoy!_

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**_Chapter Fourteen:_**

_**Othello Part III**_

'_This is the night  
That either makes me or fordoes me quite_.'  
**_Othello, 5. 1_**

¸,ø ¤º°°º¤ø,¸¸,ø¤º°°º¤ø,¸¸,ø¤º°°º¤ø,¸¸,ø¤º°°º¤ ø,¸¸,ø ¤º°°º¤ø,¸¸,ø¤º°°º¤ ø,¸¸,ø ¤º°°º¤¸,ø¤

_**FLASHBACK**_

"_Do you call that an attack? " Slade spoke with a strong voice to the blonde girl who was lying on the floor._

"_You can't beat anyone with such pathetic attacks… and you really think that you will manage to beat the Teen Titans?" He taunted cruelly._

_Terra sprung up at his words and summoned a large stone throwing it at the villain who easily dodged it._

_He just shocks his head. _

"_Keep training! I want to see something better from you tomorrow."_

_The villain left the girl in the gym without once turning around._

_Once the blonde heard the footsteps fading away, she curled into a ball and began to sob silently._

_**FLASHBACK ENDS**_

¸,ø ¤º°°º¤ø,¸¸,ø¤º°°º¤ø,¸¸,ø¤º°°º¤ø,¸¸,ø¤º°°º¤ ø,¸¸,ø ¤º°°º¤ø,¸¸,ø¤º°°º¤ ø,¸¸,ø ¤º°°º¤¸,ø¤

_Terra's P.O.V_

"Slade," I hear myself saying and I'm proud that my voice sounds so calm and strong.

I can't show weakness… can't show how frightened I am.

Silently, I search for my T-Com in my pockets, but to my shock, I can't find it. It can be… it has to be here.

I-

"You're not looking for this, are you?" He speaks again and holds up my yellow T-Com. "You should take better care of it. Who knows who could find it… and use it for wrong motives."

I swear, I can hear him chuckle at his words, but that is idiotic, because Slade doesn't chuckle… or does he?

"One wrong move and you will die!" I whisper at him trying to intimate him and at the same time I pray that he won't move closer towards me. I'm not sure if I'll be able to control my powers in this situation.

"Do you really think that you could hurt me?" He asked with a cruel undertone and this time I am sure that he lets out a chuckle.

"The last time I saw you, I killed you," I speak confidently and I know that I'm treading on dangerous grounds, but somehow that doesn't matter to me anymore… not when regarding Slade.

And before I know what's happening I'm pinned against the wall of my room with a knife against my throat.

"I would really re-think my words if I were you, my dear." He breathes into my face and I can't stop thinking how much I hate this man.

"What do you want Slade?" I manage to bring out the words shakily while my thoughts are running haywire.

"It's not much… what I want…" He says laughing meanly.

"I won't work for you again… you can kill me, if you want, but I'll never be your apprentice again!" I spat at him and it really doesn't matter to me if he decides to kill. I'll never work for this twisted man again.

I close my eyes waiting for the knife on my throat to break my skin, but all I hear is Slade's deep, throaty laugh. I open my eyes only to see Slade looking at me with a smug expression.

"Do you really think that I'm still interested in you, girl?" He laughs again and I just wish that he would die.

"You are not the one I want… you never were."

It's now that I begin to realize.

"You'll never get Robin," I almost scream. "He is too strong for you. You won't get him!"

Now, I'm sure that I'm going to die, but to my surprise Slade still doesn't react… and I'm strangely disappointed by that.

"Once again, you are wrong, my dear girl. It's not Robin I want… not anymore." He stops and looks deeply in my eyes. I always asked myself what lay behind that sinister mask.

Would his eyes be as cruel and as black as his soul?

"You are both not worthy enough… not strong enough… you are both failures." Slade speaks his words and I'm not sure why, but I hate him talking like that.

I shouldn't care what he thinks about me… I should think of a solution to come out of this mess alive… but I… I still feel disappointment and rage over his words.

"Then what do you want?" I decided to speak again and the weariness in my voice is obvious this time.

I hope that this is a dream and I'll wake up soon.

"Who I want is… Raven…" Slade decides to tell me finally and he speaks out the name I would never dreamt he would say.

"Raven...?" I ask and I can't hide the surprise in my voice.

"Why so surprised, wrenched girl? It's more than obvious that Raven is far stronger than you, isn't it?"

I ignore him and his insults, but I just have to say something.

"What do you want from Raven and what do you need me for?"

"What I need Raven for doesn't concern you and as for your second question: I just need a little bit of your manipulative traits." Slade tells me and I'm sure a smirk is forming on his lips.

"I. Won't. Betray. My. Friends." I say between gritted teeth, my hand forming into fists at my sides.

"Who says something about betraying?" He asks with a chuckle. "All I want is that you subtly show our dear Raven that she shouldn't stay with the Titans," he sinisterly talks and I feel how goose bumps begin to form on my skin. I don't like the tone he is using.

"Why should I help you Slade?"

"Because Raven has everything you want… a special _bird_… a _robin,_ for example," he drawls out the word

My eyes widen at the implication.

But why I'm so surprised? Slade has his ways to find out anything he wants to needs. He is – after all – a mastermind criminal.

Still, I'm unable to say anything. I'm just shaking my head… over and over again.

"Think of it Terra: Once Raven is out of your way. You'll have your chance with Robin… and with the other Titans," he whispers teasingly in my ear.

'_Don't listen to him… don't listen to him… don't listen to him…'_

"I don't want you to hurt anyone… just a little help to show Raven her true destiny. And once Raven leaves the tower, I'll leave as well… and never come back here again," he releases my throat and the pressure of the knife is gone as well.

'_Move you idiot!' _My mind scrams at me, but I'm unable to move… unable to do anything besides starring at Slade.

"Y… You will never come back again?" I hear myself speaking in a rushed tone.

'_No… no… no… no… no… don't...' _I hear the voice in my head say over and over and over again, but still…

"Yes, I will never come back," Slade confirms and his piercing eyes are on me again… just as if his eyes are freezing my every movement and all I can do is starring up at him and letting his words sink.

"You just want Raven…? The other Titans won't be harmed?"

Why I am doing this…? Why can't I just run away and call for help?

"Just Raven… I won't harm anybody else," his voice his dangerously low and I hate myself for listening to him. "Make sure that Raven will be mine and nobody will be hurt. It's easy Terra: Work with me and you will get your chance to prove Robin your love for him. You'll get your chance to show the Titans that you are more worth than Raven."

He straightens up and extends his right hand.

"What do you say Terra…?"

I look at his hand and then back to his eyes before my eyes are resting on his hands.

Slowly, I extend my gloved, right hand…

'_No… no… no… no… no… don't...'_

... and take Slade's right hand.

'_No… no… no… no… no… don't...'_

"You have a deal," I hoarsely speak, ignoring the voice in my head that gets louder and louder.

"Good. I knew you wouldn't disappoint me, _Terra,_" he smirks as he pulls his hand away again. "I expect you too begin with your _work _immediately. The faster you'll finish your task the faster I… _we_ will be gone."

"But what I'm supposed to do?" I want to know confusedly.

Why can't he be straight and open for once?

"My dear, I'm sure you know what to do to get Raven away for this Tower. You are not as naïve as you let everybody to believe," he's coming closer and closer and once again, I'm pressed against the wall.

"You will find a way. And don't worry, we'll stay in contact…" his last words rings in my mind.

I want to say something else, but I find myself unable to do anything as darkness begins surrounding me… and before I know what's happening, I let darkness consume me.

* * *

_**A/N: **So, that was the new chapter…_

_But before I get protest-reviews telling me to stop bashing Terra and to stop making her evil, I just want to inform you that this story isn't finished._

_Even if it seems as if Terra is evil and will betray the Titans again, it can change again._

_This story works with many symbols and illusions. So, try to look behind the words… and wait a bit before you send me protest-reviews… okay…?_

_So, I would love to hear what you think about the chapter, because I'm really unsure about the portrayal of Slade._

_Tell me if you like it… please…?_

_:gives puppy-eyes:_

¸,ø ¤º°°º¤ø,¸¸,ø¤º°°º¤ø,¸¸,ø¤º°°º¤ø,¸¸,ø¤º°°º¤ ø,¸¸,ø ¤º°°º¤ø,¸¸,ø¤º°°º¤ ø,¸¸,ø ¤º°°º¤¸,ø¤

_So, that was from me… for now…_

_Take care and be safe!_

_Later,_

_Alena_


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